Sunday, July 3, 2011

Priorities ~By Krista Canady Motsinger

I came to the knowledge of the saving grace of Jesus when I was really young. Probably around 4. I remember that day really well. I was at the dinner table with my dad when the topic came up and I prayed the “sinners” prayer. I have no doubt that I was truly saved at that age. But I never had a really true relationship with Christ until I was out of high school. Growing up as a PK (preacher’s kid) was tough. I had amazing parents but there is still was so much pressure to be perfect. That is probably when the whole, “I can do it myself” stage started for me.

When I got out of high school, God brought me through a “dry” time in my life and showed me that He was the only thing I needed.  He showed me that the only way to have a fulfilled life was through His word and through fellowship with Him. I ended up in Bible College and just SOAKED up God’s word like it was something new in my life. I would call my dad and tell him what I was learning and he would say, “Yeah, I’ve been telling you those things since you were born.” Funny right?  Ha. But I was still struggling with this part of me that felt like I could do anything and I really was relying on myself a lot, rather than God.

I suppose the older I have gotten the more I have realized what a control freak I am. What God keeps showing me is that I cannot do anything without Him! I constantly want to control everything and it always gets messed up. When I give Him control of my life and every area, that’s when things run smoothly. He has proven that to me over and over again. As soon as I gave Him my desires to lose weight, He blessed me with weight loss. As soon as I gave over my desire to be married, He blessed me with an amazingly Godly husband and two beautiful children.

Peyton, Jason, Krista, and Logan

I have given Him other desires of my heart as well.  They don’t always turn out how I thought they should but they turn out how he knew they would.  He betters me for his work and his glory. As proverbs says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).  By praying for God’s will and desires in my life, his desires have slowly became mine.

This year has been a big eye opener for me in the area of daily getting in God’s word. I’ve found that as I have been married and surrounded by other people, I’ve been easily desensitizing myself to think that my family needs this American dream rather than making eternity with Christ my focus. I was NEVER taught the American dream growing up….but influences around me start getting me thinking that way, far too much. At the beginning of the year, I wrote my new year’s resolutions out. I read over it and this huge amount of shame came over me. On my list were all of these surface goals....the body goals, the house goals, etc....and then 2 tiny goals in the middle said this, "Get Deeper with God", "Work on my prayer Life." My conviction came with this...Why were those two things not the VERY first thing I wrote down on my list? Really? Why is "lose weight,” "remodel this,” "Go do this,” way before my Spiritual health??? Right then and there I told Jason, my husband, "I don't want to just keep scratching the surface with God anymore...I am ready to see what ALL He has for me. I am done with my lazy life with Christ." Thus is where my story begins.
It was time to get Deeper...Put Effort. GO FURTHER! For my marriage, for my kids, and for me!! I was and am ready to be a Godly mom and a Godly wife. So, when you chose to go Deeper with God...He takes you at your word, LOL. All of these *cough* "Respectable Sins" started creeping up. I was struggling even more with them than ever before and was constantly praying about them and going to God's word but they just kept coming up!!

One evening I was at friend’s house and a couple of us ladies were chatting and talking about what God was doing in our lives. Out of the blue, I just spilled out this Sin that has been controlling me for over a year or so. I know it was the Holy Spirit because I just don't share things with people like that....and certainly not my down falls for heaven’s sake. I mean, who wants to rag on themselves to others? I've always been better at bragging about myself. J

But that night changed me. My friend said to me..."you say you have fully given this to God, but are you sure? Are you sure that all of the bitterness and other things that go along with it have been given to God and confessed too?" I honestly thought that I had! I really did. But why was I struggling with it worse than ever before? So my other precious friend, whom I look up to as a spiritual force in my life...and yes people... she is nearly 3 years younger than me....suggested this amazing book that God has used to CHANGE me. "Respectable Sins" by Jerry Bridges.

I ordered it that night because I was DESPERATE! I was longing for freedom from this area like nothing before. I read through the book and realized that things I was struggling with weren't what I thought and God has allowed me to work through this sin. It is a daily STRUGGLE still though and I honestly think it always will be.

Sin never comes into your life uninvited. And struggling with what I struggle with was something I let in. I let myself conform to this world and by doing so I allowed myself to let this sin rule my life. Praise God for His Sovereignty and His patience and His Love and most of all for His Word. Because He has changed me...I have so far to go...and I know I won't reach it until I am in Heaven with Him someday.

God... you are so good to me and I just don't deserve it.
He has placed a few verses in my life that I have on my mirror in my bathroom as a constant reminder of leaning on His word in every area!

"Do not be shaped by this world; instead be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to Him and what is perfect." Romans 12:2

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8

"We must not be PROUD and make trouble with each other or be jealous of each other." Galations 5:5

"But the spirit produces the fruit of Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self control." Galations 5:22-23

Other than God's word, He has been showing me my warning signs and my so called "Triggers."
For the areas that I am struggling in, I ask God to show me what triggers those things? What am I allowing into my mind or life that triggers these sins? And as I said before, no sin comes into one’s life without being invited.

Jason and Krista Motsinger, Tillamook, Oregon

Note from Ronda~

Dear Krista,

I remember the first time we met in Canon Beach, Oregon at the Village Missions annual Pastor’s conference.  I remember every year looking forward to seeing my awesome friend.  I also remember writing with you all through high school. I would always look for really fun magazine pages to use as an envelope.  I remember when you came to visit me and we accidentally drove to Canada (true story).  I remember getting my first and only speeding ticket with you on I-5 somewhere between Chehalis and Longview. I remember when you went to Bible College.  I remember calling you when I got divorced.  I remember you calling me when you met Jason, and I told you that he looked like a ‘player.’  I read your words now and I wish that we didn’t live on opposite sides of the country.

Thank you so much for sharing this.  I am so grateful that first God gave you a heart for him, and then he gave you friends that encourage you.  Sin is an ugly beast with hooks so fine you didn’t know that you got snagged.  Other times it is glaring and we choose to ignore it, or rationalize it away, save it for another day.

Whatever it is that you are dealing with, God knows, and I will be praying for you. Our God is so mighty!

I love you Krista Canady Motsinger!

xoxo, Your Sister in Christ,


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