Angry Eyes

I am thirty one today.  I posted last Saturday night a happy report that my eyes were doing much better only to wake up the following Sunday morning with a flare up.

Since they don't know what is causing these allergies they are going to do testing, not this coming Monday, but the following Monday.  It requires me to be off the steroids for a week.  So Sunday is my last day I get to take Prednisone.  With how bad my eyes got before the Prednisone it makes me a little nervous to go off it.  However I remind myself that God is bigger and stronger than Prednisone, he can help me.

I am excited for all that is to come this next year.  I have no idea what it holds.

Happy Birthday to me!  Pray for my eyes, it's my birthday wish.

xoxo

Ronda

All charged up!

I got GREAT NEWS yesterday, my camera battery charger (replacement) came in the mail and I was very glad to have my camera back.  Welcome back camera.

I took it to church with me and snapped some shots of our youth praise team. See how excited Bryan is that I got my camera back!!!  Actually this was his 'seriously Ronda?!' look.  I get that look often. We like to have fun and we spend a lot of time with one another, so we can get goofy at times.

There is my honey!  Dressed up in my favorite color green thanks to Colby's rockin lights.

My lovely Keesha on the keys.  Always so pretty.

I think it is fun to be goofy, it keeps you young. Below is Bryan and his son Jarrett.

I met a fun volunteer.  His name was Bob.  While I was walking the halls with my Camera and it's full power battery.

Bob and 9 other folks came from Owensville, Ohio.  I asked Bob how they found Abundant Life and he said that God put it on his heart to come to Joplin. {he got tears in his eyes as he told me this, and let me tell you, He was a bear of a man.  I liked him immediately}  He said that he called Ameri-corps to find a place that a few of them might be able to stay and that they were given a list with 5 churches.  He said he saw the name "Abundant Life" and he knew that is where he wanted to go.

So he put out the word thinking that maybe a handful of people would want to come.  And before he knew it, he had 19 people wanting to come to Joplin to serve.  9 were able to come and so 9 came with his group.

So many faces, so many stories...I am lovin it!

Now that the group of ladies that went out from our church on a missions trip to Jamaica are home we won't be having the ALCC blog anymore.  It was a temporary thing, but it was such a HUGE blessing to me.  It forced me to get off my duff and go meet people.

So I think when I can I will post a little about our volunteers here for you...{and for me}.

Be blessed and share, cause you care!

xoxo

Ronda

Perspective ~By Jason Williams

Meet Jason.  Jason came to help Joplin. Jesus knocked, and Jason answered.  Halleluiah!

Hey Ronda!! This is Jason from St. Louis. I was saved last Friday by Pastor Barb from Arizona. So...here is my story so you can put it on your blog.

I woke up Friday morning doing the usual.  I got back from a hard day’s work. I learned that we had a Pastor staying with us at the church (ALCC)from Arizona. I kindly introduced myself. At the same time I started to think more about how I got here and why everything that’s been happening to me is so great. Who else better to ask than someone with experience?

I've always believed in God, but never really wanted to learn. At this point I've become confident and sincere about learning more about GOD, Jesus, and more about the Bible. I asked Barb if I could meet with her. She gladly accepted. We met in Sanctuary and I basically said, "I'm just gonna tell what I know, and what I want to learn."She then described parts of the bible and how to begin my journey. We sat and held hands and prayed for my all my sins to be released and cleansed and to accept Jesus in my body and mine into his. I repeated words I cannot remember, but asking for God to accept me into his Kingdom. My heart sank, and then at once it felt stronger.

I didn't realize the full affect of what was to come. But, things started to happen in my life. I met a bunch of people from another Church from my hometown. And quickly became great friends as if I've known them for years. We had a bonfire that evening what started out with 4-5 people grew to about 40. Everyone got up individually and introduced themselves, their occupation, and what they were thankful for. I stood up and professed Jesus coming into me earlier that very day with a sense of pride.

The next day we were sent out to a large farm where the Tornado had destroyed a man and woman’s home. By the end of the day things were winding down. I was walking up and my friend Mandy Wright of Quincy, Illinois said, "You should have just heard what this man said about you." We were out in the field and she said then owner heard of a man's soul being saved, and said his farm was worth being destroyed to save my soul.

I immediately started to cry.

I stared at all the hard work we all put into his farm as I was walking down the hill checking for anything we had missed.  It was then I overheard our Team leader say “that’s him right there!" I walked up and thanked him for his kind words. And he repeated to me “My Farm was worth losing to welcome you into God’s Kingdom." I hugged him and realized this is real.

Earlier before we started to work on the farm Dave Degear (Team Leader) asked who recently got saved and pointed me out to the group. The acknowledgement and love that I've have received since, has shown me very clear my path, and clear to others that his was no coincidence....So, there is my story. And I hope it helps non-believers, like I once was, believe.

Thank you for taking the time to edit and post it.

Yours Truly,

Jason M. Williams

St. Louis, Missouri

Note from Ronda~

Jason,

Joplin is grateful for you.  I am grateful for you.  Many were touched by your testimony…Many will be touched by this testimony.  Praising God for your salvation and praying that he will continue to draw you near and that you will never stop being as excited as the day I met you, for Christ.  Lord bless you Brother!

Your Sister in Christ,

Ronda

The "F" word

This morning as I busied myself around my house I prayed.  I prayed that God would speak to my heart and give me the words that I was supposed to put down.  I have several testimonies waiting in the cue, but something is tugging at me.  My fingers feel on the verge, like a race horse pressing against a gate; hoofing the ground and snorting air with its nose.  That is how I would describe my fingers in this moment.



Joplin Tornado Debris



Two “F” Words buzz in my brain:

Fear

Faith

Pause for a moment with me.  Big inhale, Big exhale.

God, you are real, and you really love us.  You transcend time and space and have orchestrated the most amazing symphony of life that is playing out throughout all eternity for us, so that we can be near you.  You have an amazing plan and there are so many details that it boggles the mind.  Thank you for the simplicity of your message that you are solid place to stand; sure and steady.  Thank you for the clarity of mind and wisdom that you provide as we seek you and desire to know you more.  Prepare my heart God, give me the words that you would have me write.  Forgive me for my sins…I am so sorry that I keep messing up.  Thank you for your everlasting grace.  Thank you for the beautiful blue sky;  what a brilliant color you created.  Thank you for the green grass, and quiet trees that seem to be singing a song to you this morning as they gently sway in the breeze that you created.  A song runs through my head and heart, I will praise you and lift this up to you.  Thank you for this quiet moment…let little boys who are supposed to be napping surrender to sleep and wake refreshed, ready to have a fun day.

*Pause* Big inhale, Big exhale.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul.  He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  Psalms 23: 1-6.

My heart is so tender right now.  The Lord is my shepherd…What a beautiful picture in my mind as I see God, glowing bright, clothed in light, holding a baby lamb in his arms.  Such a simple picture and I praise God for this image in this moment.  God has got you.  In this Psalm we are shown through a touching illustration that God is tending to us.  He is taking care of us, and that because he is taking care of us we have no need to fear.  His rod and his staff comfort us…I stopped when I read this.  These words intrigued me.

Think about a rod; a club, a stick to fend off predators.  He guards us, his flock, with a great big Billy Stick, so we don’t have to be afraid.  And the staff, I picture Little Bo Peep and her staff with its hook at the end.  When a sheep strays the shepherd can pull them back in.  I am so glad that God has a hook at the end of his staff.  I know this first hand as he drew me back in when I strayed.  He is protection, and he provides direction.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is in the LORD.  He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17: 7-8

This is where I constantly fall short.  The verse directly above and the verse directly below…Moolah.  I don’t love money…but my mind tricks me into thinking the more of it I have stashed away the more secure I will feel.  This is a deception straight from the pit of hell.  Money will not give you security, and the more you think that you are secure because of the amount of money that you have the further away it takes you from God.  You make decisions based on your future retirement, financial security,  you are anxious over bills, anxious living month to month…Anxiety is not of God.

Trust God that he will provide your needs.  Change your focus.  Even if you have all the financial security, A) It will probably never be enough, and B) It can disappear in an instant.  Trust God.  Seek God.  Ask for wisdom.  Live for God.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13: 5-6

He is not going to tell you to go live in the middle of the desert without providing you food and water…Follow God and he will bless your way.

When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead.  But he laid his right hand on me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one.  I died, and behold I am alive forever more, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.” Revelation 1:17-18

I put this last scripture there to show you that there is a BIG picture.  We get so caught in our day to day and society induced panic that we become distracted and complacent…I say we, but I mean me, but I don’t think I am THAT special or unique in this regard.  We place so much importance on our place in society, our rank, or social class, our clothes, our savings accounts, the cars we drive…but we miss the mark.  This is about Him, and if we are in him, we don’t have to worry about the rest.  He has got us.

FAITH

I glance up and look out the window, exhale, and then dive back in to these words.  In my life, if I forget in whom my faith rests, fear sneaks in.  When fear sneaks in, my life starts to unravel and the weight of this world settles on my shoulders.  This is something that if you are nodding your head right now thinking, ‘That is me!’ then we need to acknowledge this and give it to God.

God, I want to be a Spirit Builder, like a Body Builder for you.  I pray that you increase my faith through your word and the training of the Holy Spirit in my life so that I can be strong in you so that I won’t be weak and prone to fear and made vulnerable. Thank you for putting this in front of me today.  Thank you for examining my heart and revealing things to me through your word.  Like a protein shake, I want to drink your word in, I want to be full of truth, so that there will be no room for the lie.  I want to know the truth, so that when I see the lie (fear) I will call it out and laugh in its silly little face.  You are an amazing Father and I thank you for your open hand and provision in my life.

No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other.  You cannot serve God and money.  Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds in the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his life span?  And why are you anxious about clothing?  Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothed the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?  Therefore don’t be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’…Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Matthew 6:24-34

Jesus, sweet Jesus, lover of my soul!  He longs for me to be anxiety free, trusting in him.  I think that is the best way to be.

Many of you know I injured my shoulder last Sunday in a ‘clumsy sleeper incident’ (as Sam so lovingly calls it).  I was making the bed and felt a pop and a great deal of pain.  I want to update you that it is feeling 100% better.  I am taking it easy, and being gentle with it.  I was blessed to have a customer who is a Physicians Assistant in Orthopedics and he took a look at it for Sam and me.  Today I got a text to see how it was feeling; I thanked him for being such a blessing and this was his response:

No good blessings come from me, God is the Great Healer. J I’m so glad you are doing better.  Let me know if anything changes.

Praising God in this moment for people like this who demonstrate the love of Christ and then give God all the glory!  So AWESOME!

Tomorrow starts Man Week…dun dun…dun dun…dun dun…du da du da du da….(supposed to be like jaws).  Testimonies by real men who love Jesus.  I am very excited, but a little nervous (giving my nervousness over to God about this right now), because I only have 3 out of 7 of the testimonies so far.  Guys are not as prompt as the ladies.  No problem, we will roll with it.

xoxo

Ronda

Found the "F" while running...thought about the "H" I found in our yard.  Thank you Lord for these letters that have stirred my heart.

Googling for God~ By Ashley Hawkey

“Google (verb) - The transitive verb to Google refers to using the Google search engine to obtain information on the Web.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_%28verb%29).

I, Ashley Hawkey, Googled.  And, in case you were wondering, Google was absolutely no help regarding the topic of the Christian Testimony; not surprisingly, you can’t find God hiding in the search engines at Google.   It seems like such an easy story to tell, a story about love.  Such a basic concept, to love and be loved in return; in fact, love is such a simple concept it’s been alluding explanation since the beginning of time. They say that when you’re learning new things, you should model someone who does that thing well. You’d think that Google would have stored up a compendium (I learned that word from Giles, on Buffy - smart guy, that Giles) of testimonies for reference. Thanks for nothing, Google.

So, a story.

I’d never put much thought into a belief in God, although I had been to church as a child.  I’d been involved in the youth group, summer camp, and Bible study.  I’d been to Wednesday dinners and choir and held a position as an Acolyte. I’d done all of these things without ever seeking to find God. It may sound strange to state that God wasn’t important to me; but, He wasn’t. I didn’t feel lost, I didn’t feel alone, and I didn’t feel as if there was a bigger purpose I was missing or needed to understand. I went to college and it was there that the concept of a belief in God took on a metaphysical form. I wanted to understand religion. I wanted to understand the philosophy of God. I didn’t want to believe in any one thing or another, over any other thing or another; I just wanted to understand what others understood.  But, like many things, college has its seasons and mine came and went.  Without a course, or a book, or a grade looming – I had no need to know more about God. Any god.

Life went on. Love came and went, boyfriends came and went, nights out and bar fights and tears and loss would come and go. Happiness and laughter, memories with friends and bonds stronger than those of family were forged. I never felt a loss, or a separation from God. I never felt guilt, or shame.  You can’t lose something that isn’t important to you, and God hadn’t been important.

But, priorities change.

Some months ago, it became important to me to discover God. And, if discovering meant believing than I was fine with that.

Looking at my belief system looked…nonsensical, mashed together, and confusing.  It might have been more helpful for my belief system to have been written in ancient Sanskrit, because unraveling the system I did have was undoubtedly more complicated. My thirst for knowledge, for knowing things, for understanding things, for getting to the bottom of things had not dissipated since college, it just didn’t have a place to be directed. 

They say that the most important journey a person can take is the journey back to themselves.  And, if you look hard enough, I think you'll find that there is a truth to that statement beyond the concept of places, a state of being, or an adjective.

And so it was with that, the question “Do I believe in God?” set out to be answered.

I talked about God with the Boyfriend, with the best friend, with the friend friends.  I found a church, and was pleasantly surprised to find that they were not brain eating zombie cultists…even though I still think that the size of the ‘mega church’ is to blame for that. I found that the pastor was funny, clever, witty and honest. I found the topic the church was studying (sex, love, and relationships) was eerily applicable to my life, and that the things they taught made sense.  I joined the Boyfriend on a once a week epic voyage to the land of Machias for a class on Ecclesiastics (Google it, dare you). I was blessed enough to meet a great many people full of love and knowledge on this journey, people who were willing to open their hearts and their minds and their arms to teach.  Months passed, and I found myself no closer to believing in God…more educated, yes. Closer? Negotiable. 

Then, mid study…mid path…mid journey…mid flight…the Boyfriend was called away, to a land far, far away. Boyfriends being transplanted to faraway lands, no matter the just cause or reason, do not make for very happy Girlfriends…but, happy, whole, fulfilled Boyfriends do make for happy Girlfriends. Of course, at the time, it was very easy to be angry with God…because, of course, it was so totally UNFAIR! (lol).

Additionally, for no good or apparent reason, things at work were reaching an unstable tipping point.  Apparently when you inform a company that they’re being bought by a bigger company, things start to come apart at the seams.

Things were not pretty. My heart hurt, my head hurt, and I spent a great deal of time crying.

And then there was Ronda.

Ronda has a knack for showing up when things seem really impossible, which I think is her magic superhero power in my life.  And, because things were impossible, Ronda showed up! Sure – you can argue it’s because she had a plan to come to Seattle, and tickets to come to Seattle…and, sure, you’d probably be right. We spent a lot of time together during her stay here in Seattle, and she shared with me great insight and wisdom…understanding, and love.  The thing I remember the most from Ronda was her suggesting that I take what little faith I do have in God, and put that faith in God. Then, trust that God will teach me from his side…as opposed to trying to answer all my questions BEFORE believing in God.  This seemed pretty smart to me, and I was pondering it when…

I opened a Bible I had never read, and I opened it to the exact verse I had discussed at Bible study earlier that week.  Just as I was contemplating the concept of God knocking, putting faith in God, ironic Bible verses, faraway Boyfriends, and broken jobs…

This happened.

To say that I was particularly overwhelmed on that particular Sunday (EF5 Tornado hit Joplin Missouri where said "Boyfriend" had just moved to) is a bit of an understatement. That night, I decided that as long as God was willing to work with me on faith…on belief…on understanding.  As long as he was willing to accept that I wasn’t just going to accept everything for the sake of accepting and as long as we could figure out the dinosaurs…I was ready to put my faith in him FIRST, and learn SECOND.

In the short time that’s passed since that night, I’ve come to see God differently. I don’t know where this story goes from here; I just know that it goes. And, I’m excited to follow the road as it’s laid out before me.

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."  — C.S. Lewis

Ashley Hawkey, Mercer Island, WA

Note from Ronda~

Ashley, you make me laugh, and I am so grateful for your friendship.  I know without a doubt that God put you in my life and I have been so blessed by our talks and discussions about God and that you have opened your heart to him.  Thank you for sharing your testimony in progress, your first steps in faith...you are a beautiful writer and I loved soaking up your words this morning.  Love you Boots!

xoxo

Ronda

Peeling back the layers

These days everyone has a story to tell, and every story told is a miracle.  She sits quietly next to her husband in my office and shakes her head back and forth as he describes for me how they survived the tornado.  He tells me how they clung to each other in the basement of the home they had purchased a week prior.  The little house twisted and ripped apart above them taking with it all their belongings, all their memories barely out of boxes, their clothes, their truck…everything gone. When it finally passed they had to dig themselves out and walk.  This is when she finally spoke, her eyes a little watery.  “We walked and walked and walked,” her voice quivered.  “Our daughter and our people thought we were dead because when we finally found help they drove us to a shelter in Neosho and we had no way of reaching anyone.”

This little couple is near and dear to my heart, both in their 70’s.  They moved to Joplin from a small town in Kansas to be closer to St. Johns Hospital.  “Ronda, we're going back to Kansas,” they told me.  “The house, the hospital, it’s all gone; so we’re going home.”

The insurance company is working at getting them a check, they are going to have to work to adjust to this new life they’ve been handed.  “We’re famous back home Ronda!”  Her cheeks flushed a little when she told me this, “but it gets kind of exhausting.”

“You know the hard part is the crying,” he said.  I listened closely and was surprised to hear him say this, but a little more surprised to see tears start to well up in him.  “I just get so emotional.”  He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed his eyes.  “So many people have been so good to us,” she said while he composed himself.  “{He} got some real nice jeans given to him; no one seems to be my size though.  So many people from our town came to the hotel to see us, no one wanted to leave, and we were so tired.  But they all just stayed around,” she continued.  “Our daughter tried to tell them we were tired. They must have been there past eleven.”  He nodded his head in agreement.  “We really liked that house,” He said with a sigh while his eyes scanned my floor as if looking for something lost.

{Ohhhhh!!! Broke my heart!}

They told me how the previous owner (“a little old man,” they called him) felt terrible about what happened and felt like it was his fault somehow.  They told me how they told him, “It wasn’t your fault!  Your basement saved our lives!”  They said that seemed to make him feel a little better.  Pray for them, they have so much ahead of them, and though they survived I could visually see a change in them from the couple I had known just a few weeks prior.  Who wouldn’t be different after something like that?  They lived through a nightmare.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah. Psalm 46:1-3,7

Since they are customers I can’t say their names, but I can tell you they are a joy, and you would love them.

If you would like to send any support to my little couple from the story above I would be happy to send it their way for you.  They are on a fixed income and they barely had two nickels to rub together when I helped them use his VA-entitlement to purchase the new house.  Don’t know how they are going to make out on insurance but I am praying they will be well taken care of.

A dear friend of mine had her last day at the bank today so we threw a party.  Mexican food was on the menu and everyone was supposed to bring a little somethin’ somethin’.  So I brought my Mexican Torte.  I think I have mentioned this in a blog before, funny how quickly I forget!  This is a dish my family calls “Ronda’s Layers of Goodness.”  It is easy, it is yummy, it is quick, and it is cheap.  A big thank you to my friend Alicia for being a vegetarian.  I had to learn to make yummy vegetarian food for them when they would come for a visit; this was one of those dishes.  Praise the Lord for good friends and yummy food!

Mexican Torte AKA Ronda’s Layers of Goodness

6 flour tortillas

1 can of refried beans or pinto beans

1 can black beans and/or 1 can dark kidney beans (I also like to chop up some cilantro and put it in there….ooohhhhh yummers!)

½ cup salsa

1 ½ cups cheese

½ packet taco seasoning

Garnishes Optional:  sour cream, salsa, hummus, guacamole, etc…

Preheat oven to 390-400 degrees.

Mix black beans, kidney beans, salsa, and taco seasoning in a small bowl.

Place your first tortilla in a shallow baking dish or on a cookie sheet lined with foil.

Spread about ¼ cup refried beans on tortilla.  Sprinkle with1/8 cup cheese.  Top with your next tortilla.  Spread about ¼ cup black bean mixture and top with 1/8 cup cheese.  Repeat this until all 6 tortillas are used.  You can keep going if you want…I have used up to 8 tortillas and as few as 3, so do whatcha want.

I then take half of a tortilla if I have any left and I use a pizza cutter to cut out a few designs.  I sprinkle on some cheese, set up my design on the top of the torte and put it in the oven to bake.  Check it after 20 minutes.  Cheese should be melted through and edges slightly browned.

This is a must make.  It is probably one of the best things ever.  It does come with a warning…do not eat this if you are going to be in a confined space around others for any extended period of time.  Not advisable before air travel or attending church.   You will be all gassed up with no where to go.  You can thank me later.

Let me say thank you to all of you who called, emailed me, or message me about yesterdays blog, there were several of you and it REALLY blessed me.  You know who you are.

xoxo

Ronda

Good Deeds, Gods seeds, God’s pleased

In this time of turmoil there are things that will make your heart break and there are things that will make your heart sing.  Yesterday my heart got to experience both joy, and sadness, and I got the opportunity to be blessed by proxy, and rest in the freedom of worshiping the One who cares for me.

It is such an amazing thing to have an active relationship with the living, active God. 

I am going to do my best to explain this.  I remember when I walked away from God.  {Saddest thing ever} I started living life for myself; I justified this many times by telling myself, ‘you just went through so much’ {another story for another day}, ‘just live a little!’  So I stood on this excuse instead of being steadfast and standing on the promises of God.  I let my life spin out of balance and started to trade the church scene for the bar scene, my ‘God time’ for a ‘good time’, I stopped speaking of a savior and started speaking to satisfaction, my excuses grew exponentially.

Oh, to know the truth yet choose the lie.  {Getting a little teary eyed}  To know the sacrifice that was made for me; the love it took for Jesus to take it all, and yet choose the creation over the creator~ shameful.

I remember when I realized I got in too deep.  My heart started to weep and the awareness of my solitude was overwhelming.  I remember sitting on my bed and turning my face toward heaven and trying to pray…but there was nothing…it was like my prayers were hitting some invisible Teflon ceiling and were bouncing straight back and hitting me smack in the face.  ‘Hello…anybody home?  God?  You there?  It’s me, Ronda.’   Crickets…

Verses panned through my head.  When you are a preacher’s kid you are in church A LOT, so I knew scripture.  You can know lots of scripture but still be a fool and not have a relationship with the author.  I was a fool, because even then, I knew why I wasn’t getting through.  I was out of order, I was not really seeking God, I was seeking the good feelings I had when I remembered the relationship I had with God.  I wanted my cake and I wanted to eat it too!  I wanted my life to change, but I didn’t want to change my life.

So I gave up.  I gave up talking to God and would say, “well, I hope I can get my life back in order before I die.”  I would actually say that!  I would actually toss a little prayer out there that basically said, ‘God, get me before I go, ok?’  This is the ultimate offense to God.  And I knew that too.

For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.  Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.  Romans 1:21-25

For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted of the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to renew them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and put him to an open shame. Hebrews 6:4-6

If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened…Psalms 66:18

God didn’t turn his back on me.  He didn’t say, ‘wow, Ronda, I have really been through a lot with you guys crucifying my Son and all, I think I am going to need a little break for a while.’  NO!  He is longsuffering not willing that any should perish.  He loved us so stinkin much that he sent his one and only Son to die so that we could enter his presence and be with him.  Because he LOVES us!  I don’t understand it, but I sure am grateful.  If you read my post about my nightmare Target experience with the boys you can relate to the fact that we don’t like how our kids behave sometimes, but we don’t give up on them.  {Speaking about loving parents, because God is a loving parent}  We might have to give them a little spank, but we don’t abandon them.  We love them through it.

My parents loved me through this time in my life, they didn’t withdraw; they were there for me.  My Mom would cry, my Dad would counsel, my Brother David would call me and say “What the heck are you doin?”  Once I separated myself from God, it was impossible for me to return of my own volition.  ‘Ok God, I am back, got all this stuff I am going to move in here with ya, so would you mind occupying the back bedroom for a while…mmmkay, thanks!’  No, not how it works!

I hit my own personal ‘rock bottom,’ the realization that I NEEDED God, way more than I needed anything else, and I was DESPERATE for him.

I am going to take you now to a story, you have probably read it 100 times…DANGER, don’t get ‘used’ to it.  Let it be new and fresh and speak to your heart today.  It is a story for each of us to see the Love that God has for us despite how undeserving we are.

Oh God, minister to me through your word.  Don’t let me grow luke warm in my love and passion for you.  Kindle the fire in my heart so that it burns bold and bright; pour your energy into my life.  Thank you for loving me, thank you for forgiving me, thank you for not holding it against me, but thank you for letting me remember.

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons.  The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.  After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.  So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.  He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!  I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’  So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.  For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.  So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on.  ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.  But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.  But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.  But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’

I don’t know about you, but I think coveting what pigs are eating could be classified as rock bottom.

This blog took a whole different direction today than I had originally intended.  But I think it is ok, I think it is a good thing.

God is real, and he is good, and he loves you!  You have to be willing to let him in and let go of the sin demand that you put on your life.  I had a sin demand on my life.  I owed my sin and was all tangled up in it.  It was through and to the core of my heart…I hit my own personal bottom and cried out to God and I said “I am not worthy to be called your daughter, so let me be your slave.  I will serve you, and I will let you cut the cords that I have wrapped myself up in.  I am ashamed of what you will see, but I can’t keep going without you.  I would rather have you see me and change me, then keep playing in the pig pen that is this world.”

Oh, the joy unspeakable that I just tried to lay down here for you.  If you don’t have a living active relationship with Jesus that makes you giddy {love that word} and excited to talk about, talk to me.  I would love to pray with you, I would love to pray for you, I would love to see how God changes your life like he did mine.

Let me share with you a good deed, God seed, that made God smile in Heaven yesterday.  I was blessed yesterday, not directly (well in this story at least), but I was blessed by my proximity to someone being blessed.

Kael and Caleb’s nanny, who watched them before the tornado, needed a ride to Office Depot to get some packing tape.  Missy, her husband Sebastian, and their four children are moving to North Carolina today.  They leave at noon to start a new chapter in their lives.  Sebastian just graduated from Messenger College with a degree in Pastoral Ministry.  Sunday May, 22^nd they lost their home, all their belongings, and their truck in the tornado, but they all survived.  You would look at their house and not believe it was possible, but they did, and they praise God for that.

Missy and three of her kids got in my car and while she was sitting next to me she was opening mail that she had just picked up from the front desk at the hotel where they had been living since the tornado.  She was shocked when she opened her mail to find a $60 Visa Gift Card.  Considering that they lost EVERYTHING, for someone to send them $60 is awesome, and many people blessed their family by sending letters and cards, and gifts, but that wasn’t what she was shocked by.  She was grateful for the $60, but she was blown away because, “Ronda, I owe these people money!” She exclaimed to me as she held the gift card up so I could see.   “They sent me $60 when I owe them $2,000!  I have to pay them back,” she said.

Several years ago this couple loaned Missy $2,000.  Times got rough and when you are supporting a family of six and you are both full time students, coming up with $2,000 can be challenging and it was.  So a debt that would be paid off in a couple of weeks, turned in to a couple of months, turned into a couple of years.  They didn't hound her, didn't pressure her, didn't demand payment, they gave grace, unspoken grace and space.  When they learned that Missy and her family survived the F5 tornado with just the shirts on their backs, they sent the card with the gift, still never mentioning the loan, just their sincerest well wishes.  Talk about a blessing.

Read James 2:15-16, and Galations 6:9-10.  God loves it when we are loving and kind to one another.

Lord bless you!

xoxo

Ronda