Kenya Testimony~ By Brandon Roche

Before I begin, I have to say, there is nothing you can read, watch, or hear about that really does what I experienced justice. I believe in order to really understand another culture and how God is working in that culture, one has to actually experience it firsthand. In the span of two short weeks, I have made some lifelong friends and glimpsed a small piece of an amazing culture and people that are hungry for God.

Our team consisted of 12 people, 7 students and our leader and his family, a wife and 3 young children.

Our leader’s name is Severin Lwali. He was born and raised in Kenya, specifically, the village we were going to. He was our guide at times and translator at other times. Without him, the trip would have been next to impossible. We left for Kenya on the 24^th of June and arrived in Nairobi on the 26^th at 4:30 in the morning. Two hours later, we woke up for a college-targeted church service called Frontrunnerz. Severin was speaking that day so we had to arrive a bit early. The service was held in a tent, with a few rows of wooden pews and hundreds of white lawn chairs filled the makeshift sanctuary.

Before we even had a chance to take in our surroundings, people were greeting us and making us feel more welcome then any church I’ve been to in America. The praise and worship started so we all took our seats and I watched in amazement as the 20 or so people in the room worshipped God with the most sincerity I’d ever seen. After the first service was over, a few of the women brought us to another smaller tent on the side and gave us tea and a pastry that resembled a doughnut without the glaze. Then the second service started and before we knew it, about 300 young adults crammed into the tent. During praise and worship the tent exploded with hundreds of voices, and not only that, but everyone was dancing. The praise and worship team did a few songs in Swahili that had a kind of reggae beat to them; this is when we saw the true Kenyans come out. Every single one of them has this rhythm engrained into them and can dance like no American ever could, or at least no American on our team. A few of us tried to dance along but to no avail. After church we met the 4 interns that would be accompanying us to the village. They were interning for an organization called the Journey, a college ministry on campuses all around Kenya. Ken, Joey, Grace, and Gracie were complete strangers that day, and by the end of the week became very close friends. I think overall, the Frontrunnerz service was one of my favorite parts of the trip. The rest of the afternoon consisted of catching up on sleep and a meeting concerning the rest of the week.

The next morning we woke up around 7, ate breakfast, and began our long journey to the district of Busia, where the village Butula was located. This was the village where Hekima Academy was located; the school Severin’s mother and father started and now preside over. This was the school we would be working at all week. The drive took almost 12 hours even though it was only about 300 miles to the village. That gives you an idea of how bad the roads are. When we arrived in the village that night, around nine, we ate dinner and crashed, tired from the long journey. The next morning we ate breakfast and discussed plans for the week. Starting on Wednesday, we would begin our VBS we were putting on for the children of the school. The age of the children we were teaching ranged from 3 to 14, so we had to be very versatile in our teaching. The theme of the VBS was 1 Timothy 4:12, “Do not let anyone look down upon you because you are young, but set an example to the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.” This was a great theme for these kids because the children in Kenyan culture are to be seen and not heard. But to teach them that even at a young age they can be an example to their peers and relatives was a whole new concept for them. We started off the morning at something called assembly, a meeting of all the kids in the school every morning. The teachers were very gracious and allowed us to completely take over and talk to the children. Severin introduced us to the teachers and children, which was followed by very intrigued looks at the white people. This was another favorite part of mine. I was able to bring my guitar and we were able to teach the children a song. We taught them I Could Sing of Your Love Forever with a faster, more upbeat rhythm to it. We made it faster so the children could dance, and dance they did. One of the interns, Gracie, loves to dance and came up with a few moves simple enough for the children, and us, to learn. It was amazing! Seeing them dance and sing along was just incredible.

We began the VBS by talking about Josiah and how he was only 8 years old when he became king. And that he was a great example for his people because he was constantly following after God’s heart, even though kings before him did not. The first lesson was very hard for me because I am used to speaking so fast. Without those interns there helping us, I would have never been able to communicate anything to them! They were a huge blessing. While some were teaching the lessons, others from our team lead a game that related to the story, or did arts and crafts with the children. After the lessons, we ate lunch and talked about the day, what things could we improve on, and overall, how the lessons went. In the afternoon we went back to the school and played all sorts of game with the children, we taught the children games like 500 and monkey in the middle, and they taught us some of their games. Ken and I were responsible for playing soccer with the younger children, ages 6-9. That was a blast! It eventually turned into a herd of children chasing a ball, but it was fun nonetheless. The rest of the week proceeded the same way, VBS, lunch, meeting, and then games until the children had to leave.

On Friday, however, we were privileged to accompany the kids and teachers to an awards assembly for all the schools in the district. There were about 65 schools represented at the assembly and Hekima Academy was ranked number one in the entire district! This was incredible for the small private school. A group of Americans with the kids was also great PR for the school.  On Saturday we hosted something like a carnival for the children and their parents. We had carnival games and tons of candy to give away. We also had relay races and tug-of-war we could play with the kids, teachers, and parents. After the fun and games, we all sat down as Severin gave the message of salvation to the kids and parents.

That evening we were given a goat to slaughter and eat, and that’s exactly what we did. One of our team members, John, cut its head off, while others were responsible for stringing out its intestines, which are considered a delicacy. That night we shared roasted goat, which was delicious, with the teachers of the school. They thoroughly enjoyed but unfortunately we had to say our goodbyes. I loved hanging out with the teachers because they were just as curious as the students, but could grasp the answers we gave them a bit better than the students. It was very sad leaving the next morning, as some of the students waved goodbye.

From there, we went to Lake Nakuru to go on a safari. That was the tourist section of our trip.

We stayed the night at a lodge called flamingo hill and woke up early the next morning to go see the wildlife. It was incredible!  When we got back to the lodge we ate breakfast and left for Nairobi again. The rest of the week was supposed to be filled with outreaches in the city alongside more of the Journey members, but unfortunately this didn’t work out. Brent, one of our connections to the Journey ended up being in the U.S. at the time we were in Kenya, and because of that, a lot of our plans fell through. We attended a few Journey hosted events to Kenyatta University but the rest of the week was filled with mostly learning more of the Kenyan culture.

Overall, the trip was an amazing experience that, like I said, I can’t do justice by typing up this testimony. God did amazing things to and through us while we were there. Going to a country where people have very little is eye opening and heart breaking at times. However, one thing I noticed from each Kenyan was the amount of hospitality they gave us. For instance, when we were in Butula, we stayed in Severins’ parent’s house. They gave us literally all they had and more while we were there. They didn’t even stay in the house, they gave it to us and they stayed in a neighboring building on their land. When we were in Nairobi we went to Journey leader’s apartment for a few minutes. The living room was about 12 by 12 feet maybe, but instead of saying he didn’t have enough room for the 12 of us, he welcomed us in and fed us. I think the big theme here is the amount of community and family that Kenyans have as opposed to Americans. If we have guests, we give what we want to give, but in Kenya we were greeted with everything they had.

God is doing great things in Kenya and from this experience, I hope to begin to travel the rest of the world and experience God in other cultures.

Brandon Roche, Joplin, Missouri

~Note from Ronda

My heart is busting at the seams right now!  It makes me so happy and so sad all at the same time because in America we are so disconnected from the rest of the world.  I can picture the freedom and see these people dancing and singing before the Lord and he is clapping his hands and stomping his feet to the music (in my mind).  What JOY!

When are the Kenyan’s going to do a missions trip to Joplin, because I want to go to that revival!

What you have shared Brandon has lit a fire in my heart.  There is a lot of work to be done in this place.  Thank you so much for sharing.  I am tremendously grateful for you.  You welcomed Sam and I with love and hospitality from the moment that we met you.  You treated us like we were best buds and I think that it is a gift God has given you.  You are one of the friendliest, most out-going, sincere individuals I have ever met.

I can’t wait to see what all God has in-store for your life.  He is going to do great things through you, and you are going to do great things through Christ.

Lord bless you brother!

Your friend and sister in Christ,

Ronda

Playing the part ~By Nick Whitten

I didn’t grow up in a Christian home or Church at all, in fact far from it. My mom battled a substance addiction and got in trouble (legally) and had to go away for about a year. My stepdad liked to try different types of whips (extension cords, cutting boards, and something called Chinese torture). I didn’t meet my biological father in person till I was 10.  He seemed to be the most normal one of the bunch.

Where we lived there wasn’t a lot to do, so the kids my age got involved with drugs, drinking, etc... I thought that life would be better living with my biological father. So I packed my bags and decided to try life away from Kentucky.

Now let me say this I didn’t know who God really was. I was the one that just went with the flow.  I had a friend that said that he was a Christian, he indulged in drugs and drinking… the sad truth is he was only 13, how he got it I will never know; but it is out there.

I moved to Joplin… my stepmom, at the time, was attending a church but I didn’t know what to think. I went. I met a lot of nice people and I wanted to know more about God. I wanted to see and be touched, but I didn’t want to be looked at weird cause I was the new kid. So I just played the part (Lip service).  Then I heard something about this thing called church camp, so I thought to myself that if God was going to be a part of my life I would see it then. I started to get excited but something happened. In my free time I rollerbladed on ramps. I had dropped in on one of the ramps and came off of the ramps sideways and fell from about 5 feet in the air on my hip. Later at the ER I found out that I had chipped off a piece of my pelvic bone about the size of a half dollar. This was about 1 week before Church Camp. The doctor came into the room and told me that I would be in bed for 3 weeks and then on crutches for another 6 weeks after that. I spoke to my youth pastor and she said that we just need to hook up in agreement, and that if God wants you at this church camp you will just have a healing like you have never seen.

That night at church I thought a prayer wouldn’t hurt, so I asked for prayer (that was Wednesday, camp was Monday). I didn’t know what God was going to do, or if he could even heal me.  By Saturday I was off my crutches and by Sunday I could walk with no pain or limp. I went to church camp still just ‘playing the part’, but a part of me was hoping that there was more to God than what I knew; part of me was hoping that he even wanted me.

On the way there the Church van broke down and we had to get another ride there. At this point I was thinking, “Ok God doesn’t want us to go so let’s just go home.” But we finally make it to camp, about an hour or two late.  Once we got to the first service it seemed like nothing else mattered… I had finally realized who God was, and at that service I asked Jesus to come into my life.

I finally saw that it was not God that was trying to keep me from getting to camp… He knew that I was stubborn and that it would take a lot for me to believe. But I will tell you, it didn’t take much after I saw his love and grace. While I was at that camp I saw things that I didn’t understand like people get healed from injuries, and people dancing…I thought that was weird. When I got back to my room, (and by the way, I got paired up with a Councilor where everyone else was paired with a friend, God again), I asked about what I had seen and he brought me to the scripture where David had Danced before God in his underwear!  Then it kind of made sense; it was an act of worship.

When I came back from camp I was changed. Now don’t get me wrong, I still have struggles, but now I have a power that is bigger than me to help me through it.

God is waiting for you.  JUMP in feet first.

Nick and his beautiful (inside and out) wife Sarah and their two children, Alex and Alyssa, live in Joplin, Missouri and are cherished members of Abundant Life Christian Center.  Nick plays lead guitar and rhythm guitar on the praise team and he and his wife Sarah also help in the nursery.

~Note from Ronda~

Dear Nick,

I am so grateful for you and your love for God.  It is so awesome to get to praise God with you on Sunday mornings.  You always have a good attitude and are happy to help in anyway you can.  You and Sarah both volunteer a tremendous amount of your time to the music and children's ministry and storing up treasures in Heaven for yourselves.  I know that is not your goal, but it is his promise for your faithfulness.  You are such a blessing to so many, including me.  Thank you for putting up with my occasional whining (gasp, me...a whiner?  no!) up front.  God is working with me to have an attitude that is pleasing 100% of the time.  And to you and Sarah for watching our kids in the nursery. THANK YOU!

Thank you for sharing this testimony of what God has brought you through and how he continues to grow you.  Lord bless you brother!

Your Sister in Christ,

Ronda

Testimony of a Teen: I Am Understood ~By Dakota William Reasoner

"And sometimes I'm so thankful for your loyalty,

Your love regardless of the mistakes I make will spoil me,
My confidence is, in a sense, a gift you've given me
And I'm satisfied to realize you're all I'll ever need"

Those are some of the lyrics to Reliant K's song: I Am Understood. I picked up that CD at about nine years old having no idea that they were a Christian group at all. Seven years later that’s my favorite song. It’s like it describes my faith for me. I can’t believe how well I relate to it. God uses that song to remind me that no matter how many of those mistakes I make he still loves me regardless. And it also relates to my testimony, so let me share it with you.

My name is Dakota William Reasoner, (But you already know that). I was born on January 9, 1995 in Joplin, Missouri. I currently attend Abundant Life Christian Center in Joplin, where I’ve attended since 2007. When I was growing up on the west side of town, my Dad worked for CFI and my Mom ran a day-care at home. Things were alright at home during the day with the other kids, but once my dad got home there would be lots of screaming and yelling. My Dad and my Sister (who has a different father) didn’t get along at all, and eventually my Sister left to stay with our Aunt.

When I was about five, my Mom told me her and my Dad weren’t going to be married anymore. At the time I didn’t understand what exactly this meant. But thankfully, my Mom and Dad got along, and still do, so I was able to spend time with both of them. My Mom remarried and we moved across town. I started elementary school, got on a school bus for the first time, and sat down next to some red-headed kid. His name was Spencer. That day we became best friends.

I remember Spencer telling me and our friends about the things he had learned at Church, and we laughed at him. I went to Church with my Mom, where we sang a few hymns, took Communion and then left. I didn’t like going at all. But Spencer was telling me of this Jesus fellow who I had not really heard of. He invited me to come to Church with him multiple times, but naturally I declined. When I think back, the other guys were pretty mean to him about it, and I never stood up for him. Eventually it got bad enough, Spencer had to change schools. But then middle school came and we were going to school together again and we found out Jr. High was rough. We certainly did not fit the expectations for being “cool” or “popular”. But of course we had to try, so you could find us at ‘The Bridge’ unsuccessfully hitting on girls we had just met, cussing and laughing and talking about stupid things we didn’t actually know anything about. We thought we were real big shots.

Then there was a girl. She invited me to Church with her. And I said “sure.” You know, ‘cause she would be there. And once I went, it wasn’t so bad! In fact, I rather enjoyed it. Church was all of a sudden fun... and crawling with girls!

Yup, I was goin’ to Church for the girls. I could’ve cared less about pleasing God at that point in my life. But some of the guys from school were at that church and they didn’t like me and wanted to make sure I didn’t come back. So I didn’t. A few weeks later Spencer asked me to come to his church one more time. So I did. I was hoping it would be close to the same thing, and it was. But... Oh Crap... Now I have to sit through an hour of the youth pastor, Bryan, talking. I didn’t like Bryan all too well. I was very quick to judge him. I was willing to sit through that though since I enjoyed the social time before Service.

After a few Wednesday night services I decided to start listening to him, and what he had to say intrigued me. I had never heard of this God who created the whole universe yet wanted a personal relationship with... me. All I had ever heard of was the creating the universe part. I just didn’t think that God would be interested in somebody who wasn’t even accepted at church! I also refused to believe that I was accepted at this church. It only took one individual making it clear that he didn’t like me for me to tell Spencer that I was leaving and I was never coming back.

During that time away from church I changed schools because of rejection. And I also decided that I didn’t want to live anymore. I had intentions of slitting my own throat, and I was really going to do it. But, as I was starting to go through with it I realized I didn’t know where I was going to go when I died. I didn’t know what it took to get into Heaven, and I was too afraid of Hell to take that chance.

I just wanted somebody to walk in on me and see what I was contemplating doing and for hours nobody came despite my yelling. And finally, after my lungs had given out, somebody came to save me, and I passed out on the floor. I woke up the next morning and told myself I had to get back to church. I had found something there. Naturally, Spencer called me up and invited me to a Friday Night Hang-out. Go- Ministries from Minnesota was there and they were really cool. One of the “Go Interns” from Kentucky, Cody, sat down with me and explained to me who Jesus Christ is and who gets into Heaven. He explained to me that nobody is an accident, not even me and my seemingly worthless life. Cody and Spencer convinced me to go to the youth camp that next weekend called Lake Invasion. I went and I gained a desire to apply the things that Bryan, the youth pastor, had talked about to my life.

For the first time, I truly believed in this God I had heard so much about. It felt so happy. I guess that’s what being in God’s presence will do. The next Sunday, May 15, 2008 Pastor Larry Bjorklund ended his sermon with an altar call and I gave my life to Jesus Christ.

From that moment on there was nothing more important than my relationship with Christ. All I want to do now is serve Him and worship Him. And I hope to continue doing that by joining the Go Ministries Internship program in Minnesota. And then later becoming a pastor and showing people that same love that snagged me before I threw my young life away completely. And by the way, the youth pastor Bryan, that I didn’t care for at first, is now one of my closest friends and somebody I look up to. I’ve never felt more accepted anywhere as I do at Abundant Life Christian Center, where I’ve gained a Faith Family and more importantly, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Finally, I Am Understood.

Dakota William Reasoner, Joplin, Missouri

Note from Ronda~

Dear Dakota William Reasoner,

I am *OVERJOYED* that God’s love snagged you too.

Life is not easy when you are a teenager; kids are mean. I remember when we first moved to Joplin and came to Abundant Life you were SO welcoming to us. You have always been a ball of friendly energy. We liked you immediately. We are so grateful to have you in our lives and we love your company, and your friendship.

I know that you are going to do amazing things for Jesus by sharing your love for Him with others. You have a powerful testimony that you can minister to others who have felt the sting of rejection, the taunting of peers, the cruelty of this time and place… Don’t let anything snuff that light. You shine SO bright!

You are such a blessing.

Your Sister in Christ,

Ronda


Also, Happy Birthday to Sam.  I love you Honey.

Something for Everyone ~By Alexander T. Taylor

An open letter to those who suspect, and to those who know: A greater presence exists...
           

This could be a cautionary tale, or it could be the halfway point in a story few people wouldn't relate to in some way. It's a little abstract, a little vague, but I wanted to be clear about the real subject here... God. If you do not believe there is such an entity, continue reading. If you do, continue reading. I'm a weird guy, and this probably isn't what you're expecting.

I write this as a complete and total wretch, a scumbag of the lowest order, purchased secondhand and slowly restored; this is a process which is happening now, and a process which has very little to do with willpower. It has nothing to do with some kind of cathartic purge of something bad within myself. It has everything to do with a presence that everyone everywhere (correctly) knows is there on some level or another, but may not know how to know. That presence is God, and I will tell anyone willing to listen, my experience with Him, and I will attempt to put it plainly.

I grew up in a broken home, which is not special. This turned into many bad decisions and perceptions, complexes, anger, escapist attitudes, and being hopelessly self-centered. This is not special either. Also not special is all the damage these things caused to myself and those around me. I would love to tell you stories about crime, violence, drugs, and desperation, but you've heard them before... they're not special. They're not unique, they're shouldn't be entertaining, and most importantly, they're not the point.

Bear with me! The point is, these things describe quite a few people in the world. I believe that people intuitively know that there is a God, never mind for now if you believe that He is the God of the Bible. People know. I knew. I also believe that people also routinely ignore this fact; we ignore it to keep doing something we believe is good. We ignore it because we believe we're too smart to believe something that can't be proven by science. We ignore it because we believe that there is such a thing as spiritual privacy, that we can hide... but we know it's true. I ignored it because if I made it through everything else, who needs God? Even knowing what I know now, it still (sickeningly) makes some sense to say it, if I take a second to continue to ignore. Here's the difference. I ignored it because of all of the above and more, and all of those things would go away one by one, whether I wanted them to or not.

God took these things away from me one by one. God gave me the ability to see the forest for the trees, even if only for a few brief moments at a time. Christians call this Grace, and we believe it's freely given, often (perhaps always) even when what's asked of us isn't returned. I never changed much about myself, but my options were running out. The avenues to all the things I wanted in life were closing off one at a time, to my great disappointment and dismay...

Fast forward to the summer of 2009, when friends invited me to church. With enough of my desires and ambitions hidden away, I went, and the pastor told me that if I genuinely asked Him to change me forever, he would. I was sure that this was something he would have to say to everyone, like a car salesman would have to try and close a deal with everyone that walked in the front door. The part of me that always knew about God was the only part of me that asked for this change, and it was genuine. Everything after this was a part of a nonstop movement toward knowing God, and as I said before, it had little to do with willpower and nothing to do with some cathartic event.

           

            This is a brief summary of the next three months.

At this time I was running a small home based business. The revenue dried up within two weeks and I was looking for a job, a job I wouldn't find for three months. Anyone who's ever been broke knows that it is humbling, and it was no different for me. Within weeks of asking Him to change me, the opportunity to attend a free Bible college, Contenders, geared toward creating ministers was offered. I accepted, and began reading the Bible so that I could be somewhat prepared. During this time, it was important to me to discover WHY this supposed change would occur, and if it really the God of the Bible, and this was my goal in reading it at all. I finally gained employment as the school was beginning; I will always remember this three months as “the reset button”, because of how few distractions and stumbling blocks there were, and because of how humbling they were.

Every day something changed in me... little to do with willpower, and as I searched, I discovered that the promise of personal change is one of many things promised to us by God, all so that we might be complete and together with Him. It's all there in black and white...

Now, I am happy to tell anyone who is still willing to listen that I am in school to become a minister, that the personal change is still ongoing, and that I now understand (at least on a basic level) that God is real, personal, and His promises are right in front of us. That He is right in front of us, all the time. You don't have to be a former criminal or a drug user. Maybe you're the opposite of me, straight-laced, from a normal family and not a care in the world. If you believe that enough about you is good, that you don't believe that He is real, or that nothing about your life puts you in His radar, I'm not writing to tell you that you're wrong. I'm writing to tell you that no matter where you are in life, believer or not, that the promise is real, it's for everyone, and it's more incredible than anything you could imagine... believer or not, none of us will ever even come close to understanding completely, that we all have a long way to walk, and that it overshadows everything else. I can tell you this beyond any doubt, that God is real, He knows you and cares about you.

If you are a believer, you have already experienced this at least a little. If you are not, I know at least a small part of this makes sense. If this is you, or if you actually DO want to hear stories about drugs, crime, etc., I invite you to write to me: oaktubs@gmail.com

Alexander T. Taylor

Lynnwood, Washington
pictured with Di Beals, Canyon Creek Church
July 2009

Note from Ronda~

I met Alex back in 2003…Sam introduced us.  I barely knew Sam when he invited me to his “bands practice” up in Lake Stevens, Washington.  There I met Wesley Mitchell, Adam Hauck, Alex Taylor, and got to see Sam play music.  My brother Paul came with me and we were blown away.  This was around the time I started walking away from God.  I started managing that band and many others and but during this time I got to know Alex.  Alex came to work with me at City University in Bellevue and we drove to work with each other most days, because it was a LONG drive.  Made even longer by the fact that Alex and I are both: incredibly stubborn, incredibly outspoken, and incredibly opinionated…and we both have incredibly different tastes in music.  So we debated often the entire commute to and from work, all for the sake of arriving at work or home in a slight fluster, neither convincing the other of anything different.  Ahhh, good times.

To see and know this man now is a blessing.

Alex,

We love you so much.  You are going to make an amazing minister for God, in fact, you are already an amazing minister for God and are ministering right here, right now.  Thank you.  Thank you for putting this down for everyone to read.

Your Sister in Christ,

Ronda

Eternal Focus ~By Tyler Goettl

To start off, I would like to give some background on my story. I am being selective in what I tell only to ensure that what I convey relates to what the Lord has done in my life; and what may possibly benefit anyone who has time to read this. You didn’t really want to hear about my 6^th birthday party anyway…

As a serious follower of Christ, my story starts at age 20. I was becoming worn out by my secular lifestyle. Halfway through college, success was all but guaranteed, but significance was something I seriously lacked. After shying away from Christian fellowship for five years, a professor invited me to his church and I went. It only took one man willing to ask me to church to turn things around in my life. Confidently, I can say the Lord has treasures set aside for him in reward for his faithfulness. I began pouring into the word daily and soon I met a woman and fell in love.

Her parents, being devoted Christians, would have ran me off in the blink of an eye had they not seen my passion for the Lord. But they trusted me, and a year later I was happily married.

Had I not been following the Lord, I would have missed out completely. So it’s true:

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all the rest will be added
unto you (Mat 6:33).

After two years of marriage my wife and I were blessed with a baby boy, we had a beautiful home, and a lifetime to share together.

It was truly a match made in heaven. It seemed to be a trouble free time in life and I genuinely couldn’t have asked for more.

One year later, my wife passed away after fighting Leukemia for nearly 12 months.

What was left was a one year old son to be raised, and a man with no clue what life was for and which direction to go. Everything I saw in my future had vanished into thin air. The very thing I had fixed my gaze on could no longer be seen, and my foundation was broken.

After that I held on loosely to the Lord for two years; not willing to let go completely because I believed he was my life support and I was afraid walking away from him would be the same as pulling the plug. But I didn’t draw near to him. My life was full of bitterness, anger, and constant pain.  Trying to move on and searching for purpose, I looked for another woman thinking I only needed to get back to the same place in life so I could continue where I left off. Looking back, it’s almost tragic to see me searching for earthly things to bring contentment into my life. Did I not realize that earthly things had let me down once already? But of course, I got what I looked for, only on my terms and not the Lords. Not surprisingly, it only made things worse. Realizing I was struggling in vain, broken and burdened, I finally turned to the Lord with all my heart. In His graciousness, He picked me up, reassured me, and showed me the truth: We are not here to struggle for ourselves, but for others, and the only things worth having in life, are the things the Lord gives you.  

In all earnestness, I hope that what I am writing will help someone in need.  Though many have suffered more greatly than I, for my own strength I have suffered enough to recognize my frailty. And what comes out of all of the trials is a new perspective.

2 Corinthians 4:18 (NLT) So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on the things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

All the things I struggled to obtain in the past, I realize now, will only last a moment. My job, my hobbies, my home and possessions, even my family and friends will fade away. I’m not saying these things are meaningless, only that we all too easily fix our gaze on these things instead of our Father. So what happens when these things are taken away? Those with everything and those with nothing can switch places in an instant. But when the worldly things are stripped away the only things that remain are eternal things. So doesn’t it make sense to focus on eternal things in the first place since we do not know how long the earthly things will last? Especially since we know for certain they will not last forever? Focusing on eternal things (service, fellowship, charity, worship, prayer, sacrifice, and love) makes a foundation on the Lord that allows us to be stable in all that we do, helps us to give freely of
earthly things, and in truth helps us to appreciate all the earthly things that the Lord so generously gives.

I will end with a scripture that has helped me steel my focus on the Lord time and time again:

Psalms 37: 5 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires (i.e. a Godly wife, a prosperous family, abundant opportunities to serve the kingdom). 6 Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. 7 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

 

Tyler Goettl

Joplin, Missouri

 

Note from Ronda~

I only got the opportunity to meet Bettina once.  It was several years ago and only for a brief moment, but I remember that I was captivated by her beauty.  Everything I know and have heard of Bettina is that she was a woman of remarkable unwavering faith and that she loved the Lord with all her heart, and all her soul.  She is an amazing testimony and witness for God.

Tyler, you amaze me.  The other day when you sat in our living room and chatted with Sam and me, we were both touched by your stories, and that time of fellowship meant a great deal to us.  I praise God for you.  You have experienced loss that I cannot begin to imagine.  I am so grateful that you have a piece of Bettina in Timothy, and you know where to find peace.  Your peace comes from knowing that God is there, and that He cares for you.

Pastor Larry said something in his message last night that reminded me of all those who have lost loved ones and instead of drawing into God, they pull away.  Our loved ones who are in Heaven with Jesus don't come back to us...but if we have a relationship with the one who loves, we get to go to them. 

Setting our eyes on Heaven and things eternal…

Your appreciative Sister in Christ,

Ronda

Oh the depth of the mercy of God! ~By Zachary Canady

Ephesians 2:4-5 (New International Version)

⁴But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, ⁵made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

I was born in NE Colorado. We spent the first 6 or 7 years of my life in a town not too far from Fort Collins; during those very significant influential years I developed a love and dedication for the Denver Broncos. On a serious note it was in Colorado where the Lord convicted me of sin and drew me to Him. I was probably 5 years old when I asked my dad what it takes to get to heaven and right there on a road in the Rocky Mountains in my Dad’s Volkswagen Bug my dad helped lead me to the Lord.

We moved to Oregon the summer I was about to go into first grade. My life growing up was nothing out of the ordinary; I was your typical preacher’s kid perpetually getting into mischief at home, at church, and at school. Growing up as a PK you really learn all the right words to say to keep people off your case, but even so I wasn’t a really bad kid I was just what I like to call “creative” and “roguish”.  My relationship with God was an on again and off again thing. It seemed that every summer at camp I would get all fired up and then not too long after that fire would fade, but like I said, I wasn’t a really bad kid so I would just kind of slide my way through.

When I got into high school this was where my relationship with God started to become more meaningful. Although I definitely had my ups and downs I really felt like it was my responsibility to represent Christ the best I could. By the time I was a junior I had a reputation for being a nice kid who was yet still a tad mischievous, but what can I say, I really like to have fun and when you're in a small town you HAVE got to get creative sometimes, but I tried to never focus that energy in being mean or singling anyone out.  I had one really strong Christian friend in High School and I believe it was Gods hand for sure we challenged each other tried to keep each other accountable the best we knew how.  Together we grew as young men of God.

All in all I had an awesome growing up experience. Looking back I wouldn’t have had it any other way, another thing I feel so blessed about is the fact that I grew up poor but I never realized it or cared, I knew things were tight sometimes but I also was able to see at a very young age that God always took care of my family and provided what we needed.

After I graduated high school I moved out to SE Wyoming to go to a little Bible College my sister had been going to. Year one: I went nuts! I had so much fun it definitely hindered my studies, BUT I only failed one class and I'm proud of that! By the time my class left I'm sure that we were responsible for doubling the size of the student hand book rules, they just had to clarify what was acceptable and unacceptable behavior. But even though we were very “Creative,” I have to say that I had never grown so much spiritually in my life. The group of guys that were there that first year will be friends of mine for the rest of my life, and the greatest spiritual impact of my life was with that group we challenged each other immensely. The second year of Bible College I settled down some, not a whole lot but I thought “Man, I'm in my second year of Bible College and I'm still single! What up Wit dat? (Kenon Thompson Esq.)” In some ways there is the natural desire for you to find a mate, and for some incredibly weird reason there is actually some sort of Christian Culture that almost convinces young people that if they don’t find their mate here they won’t ever find them.  So year 2 equals new girls that have no idea how retarded I am, “ALRIGHT!” I had matured some from the year before and was more focused on my studies than the year prior. At any rate I ended up dating a girl from Southern Utah and we dated for the next year and a half.

The Bible College was only a 3 year school so in the spring of 2006 I graduated with my degree in Biblical studies, and that summer I was married. The first year we lived in Oregon my mother was going through treatments for breast cancer and we felt like it would be important to live close. My family was blessed with my mother defeating cancer (or as I like to put it, my mom kicked cancers butt!) and at this point my wife really missed her home. My philosophy has always been that it is not where I am that decides my contentment it is my position with Jesus Christ that is the deciding factor. Since I felt like I could be content anywhere I obliged my wife’s desire to live where she wanted. So we moved to St. George, Utah.

I would say from my perspective we had a normal marriage, nothing that I wasn’t ready to work on, even though it may have been uncomfortable at times.  But my perspective wasn’t that these are two different live; we aren’t going to automatically have a perfect marriage. I wouldn’t lie and tell you I was a perfect husband and if I am being completely honest, I wasn’t the kind of Godly man I should have been.

The time in Utah in hindsight was not the time where I hoped we would have grown together as a couple, but truly the opposite. As the year progressed my wife slowly distanced herself from me; she got a good job, she was making good money, and she had started spending most of her evenings at the gym. It wasn’t over night but she had really phased me out of her life for the most part.

I had to go out of town for work.  I had only been out of town for work one time before and so it wasn’t like it was a regular thing for me to be away. But when I got home after that few days there was something horribly wrong.  I thought that she would be excited to see me after the week but she wasn’t even home. I called her and she casually began to make her way home. That night we went to bed and I couldn’t sleep I knew that I was on the fringe of something terrible, but she wouldn’t tell me.

The next morning she went on a long bike ride with her friends from the gym and she left me a note saying we need to talk when she gets back. I knew something awful was going to happen but didn’t know what. When she got back she sat down and told me that she had kissed another man from the gym and that I had the right to divorce her. What goes on in a man’s mind after he has been told news like this is hard to describe, but it’s almost like all of most unimaginable hell on earth has just been poured on his life.

I always thought that that could never happen to me. I had thought that if my wife was ever unfaithful, and that if we didn’t have kids, that would be it. But the reality was even though she wanted a divorce, I thought ‘we can work this out, it will be hard but I can forgive her.’ It was clearly evident that she wanted out and she was looking for an easy way out. She had been convinced that if she is not happy she needs to do what she wants and look for it elsewhere. Sort of like when we moved to UT the grass must be greener and the truth was she was as discontent there as she was everywhere else. Although I was convinced she was a believer, it became harder to believe that as time went on. I understand that happiness is an allusive concept even for the believer; she still was never able to ever find any sort of contentment in anything in her life. Joy and contentment are some of the core elements I believe that a healthy Christian life should have. Many of these things I figured out after the fact but I believe that even our marriage may have been the product of her discontent thinking the next step in her life needs to take place in order for her to be happy. (but I digress)

For the record I chose not to divert into the endless details of what she put me through, the manipulations, the lying, and the lewd behavior. I choose to focus on my gracious God who saved me.

The next period of my life was most certainly the darkest and most terribly excruciating times of my life. All I had really wanted to this point in my life was to settle down and have a family, and truly in the most extreme way my entire purpose was gone. I've heard that when you take away a man’s purpose you give him nothing to live for.  At no point did I ask myself “God why are you doing this to me?” the first thing I did was soberly looking at how severed my Christian walk had become. Not that I was living immorally, or being an overtly “bad” Christian but I had become stagnant in my spiritual life.

In the pit of darkness God called me back and gave me the undeserved forgiveness that I had most certainly not earned. I began to read my bible, pray, and I started to read Charles Hadden Spurgeons “Morning and Evening.” And within a few days I found a quote that became a life verse to me. "It is a poor faith which can only trust God when friends are true, the body full of health and business is profitable; but that is true faith which holds by the Lord's faithfulness when friends are gone, when the body is sick, when the spirits are depressed, and the light of our Father's countenance is hidden." “COULD NOT THE LIGHT OF MY FATHERS COUNTENANCE BE MORE FURTHER FROM ME” I CRIED? But still that is poor faith reasoned. Had God ever given me reason to doubt Him? Was this God attacking my spirit or the actions of fallen man?

There was also a video on the internet at the time that was a skit with the song “Everything” by Lifehouse. It couldn’t have painted a clearer picture of what I had done and all of these things I had put between God and myself.

There are many things that happen to a person in the pit of despair. For me I was alone. I had relatively no friends in Utah, and now even more so. How on earth could I tell anyone my wife had left me? “Christians don’t get divorced” I thought. There were a few people who I confided in and I will never forget them for all of the encouragement and support they gave. I called my friend Josh from McAllen, Texas who helped me and my cousin/roommate from college Lance. By the grace of God Lance was able to move from Colorado all the way down to live with me. WHAT A FRIEND! How blessed am I!

Another stick in the spokes was that I was from a strong Christian family. Each set of my grandparents had been married for 50+ years, my parents almost 30 years and all of my aunts and uncles were all married to the same spouses. I was so proud of my Godly heritage that God had preserved all of those marriages and now I'm going to blow it.  I was so ashamed. I felt so low that I didn’t think they would talk to me. Of course nothing could be further from the truth. My family was so supportive I was blown away (although I shouldn’t have been surprised), My dad through all of this really became one of my dearest friends. We were close before, but God drew us nearer. 

The holidays don’t have high suicide rates for no reason, and even though I didn’t get close to that, I truly had almost nothing worth living for at that point in my mind. I called my Christmas “a Whisky lullaby Christmas minus the whisky” if you are unfamiliar with the song it basically it about a guy who comes back from war to find his wife with another man and eventually drinks himself to death.  Here my sister and her husband had their second child and what an incredible blessing in contrast to the depths of sorrow we were going through. I say “we” because my family was devastated at the whole situation. Although things were so dark the Spirit was in me, moving me, His presence was the only thing that kept me alive in all honesty.

As time went on it was clearly obvious that there was no benefit to me remaining in Southern Utah. One reason was because I was doing no good; my presence had no affect on her behavior, and the second reason was how long do I remain and suffer here? If I was to run into her with another man I don’t know what would happen. Where do you go when you are ashamed to tell anyone your marriage has failed and that your wife left you? Do I retreat to home with my parents and the Church we attended as a married couple? Or disappear for a while? But why put my family through anymore trials? Somehow my friend Josh in Texas opened his home to me. So I packed all of my earthly belongings and headed south east.

What a relief to leave the forsaking land of UTAH!!!!! (no offense) I'm not sure, but I may have cranked “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd 90 % of the trip. I wish all my trials were through by then but they lingered on for some time. There is a transition that someone goes through when their entire life plan has been ripped away from them. What's next? What do I want? More importantly what does God want for me in my life? I was looking into a lot of different things but the truth was I was too busy playing with my buddy Josh really clearly come up with a plan. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way! I know this will seem odd but Josh was just what the Doctor ordered! Between the Golf and hanging with his young family and their amazingly intelligent 2 year old girl it was just what I needed to the fullest. I am forever grateful to them, and especially Kimmy (Josh’s wife) who had the patience to let Josh be a kid with me ha! After a few months of letting the good times roll with my homies in South Texas I felt the Lord tugging on my heart to move back to Oregon with my family. The time in Texas was just enough for me to learn how to deal with the reality of what had changed in my life.  God was mending my heart, the Spirit was giving me purpose, and direction.

Since it was a 40 hour drive I naturally I decided to make it to my family’s house in Colorado (20 hours away) in one day. And if you have ever driven from San Antonio to El Paso (aka Hellpaso) and then into New Mexico you don’t want stop, you just want it to be done.  I spent a few days in Colorado visited family and I was really good. Now the big step is facing all the people who still think I'm married! You would think it would make me feel bad every time someone brought up my ex and I had to explain in one sentence that she left me. Really I had definitely come to terms with that reality, but without fail almost daily for a while I would have to discreetly tell people what had happened. Of course almost every time the person would feel terrible and apologize and I would have to tell them “no, no, no, its fine you didn’t know, don’t worry about it.” It got to a point where I would see someone and knew exactly what they were going to say ahead of time “how’s the wife?” I always loved when people would say “aren’t you married?” rather than “weren’t you married” because I could honestly say “no I'm not married” but I couldn’t say “no I wasn’t married.”

Although pain and loneliness lingered still God kept moving me on, and it was that summer where God gave me a new vision and gave me the desire to serve Him.  So after I surfed my life away for a while and learned to live again, and helped save a kid’s life I ended up where I am today in Kansas City, just graduating from Calvary Bible College looking for a place to serve God!

Gods greatest gift to me was that in the pit of despair God didn’t turn His back on me because I was unfaithful to Him, but HE PICKED ME UP! HE CARRIED ME! HE MOVED ME! HE RENEWED ME! HE SUSTAINED ME! HE CHANGED ME! AND HIS LOVE RESTORED MY BROKEN HEART! MY GOD IS SO FAITHFUL ALLOW GOD TO MOVE YOU TOO! THE LIFE HE OFFERS IS ABUNDANCE AND JOY EVEN IN DARKNESS!

One last thing in closing is that without forgiveness you will never move on and Satan will have a foothold in your life until you do. I don’t pretend to know every body’s life experiences or hearts but I can say that when you don’t forgive you don’t move on, and when you don’t move on you live without purpose, and when you live without purpose you live in a hopeless state. God has the highest purpose for your life if you only allow it.

Zachary Canady, Serving in Kansas City, Missouri

Note from Ronda~

Dear Zach,

I hung on every word because I have been there.  Going through separation, and divorce is made 100 times more difficult when you have to explain it because it wasn’t obvious to everyone.  You go from one day being a couple, to the next not.  I can also empathize with not wanting to destroy the legacy of life long marriages...I was in the same boat. I am so grateful that God put people in your life to love on you.  God did the same for me, and I am so grateful.  I unlike you decided to walk away from God instead of drawing near to him.

Oh but the grace of God.  He amazes me, truly amazes.   He brought me back to him, and now I am even more appreciative of his love for me.

I can also say without a shread of doubt that I appreciate Sam, my husband, so much more because of everything I went through with my first husband.  Sam adores me; I love having a husband that adores me.  Thank you so much for sharing your story.  If for no one else, it was for me.

Your Sister in Christ,

Ronda