Not Burglerized, Toddlerized

Yesterday was one of the best days of my life.  We closed on our house, I saved $30 at closing, I saved another $79 when AT&T called me and told me they were waiving our activation charges, I helped someone buy their first home, our friends Gary and Stephanie took us to the Kari Jobe concert for Christmas, and then our friends Rob and Blythe took us to dinner.  It was as perfect as days can go.  Then at the strike of midnight my glass slipper came off and my carriage turned into a pumpkin…well it was more like 4am.

I awoke to the sound of something crashing in the kitchen downstairs.  So I booted Sam out of bed to investigate.  He found a 3 and a half year old covered head to toe in Krustez pancake mix destroying our laptop.  We were toddlerized.

So I have been up since 4am cleaning.  From the crime scene I can tell that Kael (the suspect) was trying to get his presents from on top of the cupboards.  So he climbed on the counter and in his attempts to get the presents broke the trim on top of the cabinets.  I also have determined that he is too short to do this from the counter which means he was standing on the microwave to accomplish all this.

When he was unsuccessful in his attempts to conquer the cabinets to claim the goods he gave up for much more destructive fun when he crossed the sink to the other counter to retrieve the laptop safely sitting on top of the refrigerator.  I don’t know how he got it down.  Doesn’t matter now, it is beyond fixing.

At some point either before or after this expensive play time he decided to have a powder party and coat the kitchen and couch in a nice layer of baking mix.

If it wasn’t enough that I am pregnant and having to pack to move.  Seriously.  Well, I still love him.  Mess is cleaned.  I am one tired momma.

xoxo

Ronda

Counting on God

I was thinking about something the other morning as I lay in bed awake.  I was mulling over the saga that has become our home buying process of the house that we were trying to buy.  We got the bad news last week that they were cancelling our contract.  So we started the house hunt all over.  I told myself as I lay there, ‘well, I trust God.’ And then I thought to myself…that’s not good enough and a worship song we sing at church started playing in my head.  I’m counting on God, I’m counting on, I’m counting on God.  There is a difference to be between trusting God and counting on God.

I realized that I don’t count on, rely on, depend on, God.  I trust him, but then I push my way into things and make things happen and take great strides to have control over my life.  I made a conscious effort to count on God.  It was hard, really, really hard.  It was hard because I already had this idea in my head.  A beautiful little house, all trimmed out for the holidays, space for the boys to play and grow and room for new baby dumpling.  So when it got taken away it was hard for me to let go and count on God that if it was the right house he would make it right.

So I pushed a little (Ronda the Pusher) and I got a lawyer, and I looked at a bunch of other houses, and at the end of the day what I was left with was no house and no reasonable prospects.  What we had was perfectly priced, what we were seeing out there would stretch us beyond what would be wise.  It was hard on me.

Today I got a phone call, (Lori, I had a perm-a-grin for about a hour), from Lori, one of our realtors.  She asked me if I was sitting down…I was.  Then she asked me if I wanted to close next week.  YES!  Yes I would LOVE to close next week!!!

So right now I count on God, that if this is the right house for us, that he will continue to open doors and that Wednesday the 16^th, at 4pm we will sign the loan papers and get the key’s.

What a wonderful day.

Oh and Baby Dumpling is due June 14^th, I am only 9 weeks along so it is still early.  Will find out what baby dumpling is in probably 9-11 weeks from now…Sam hopes for a boy.  If my previous pregnancies are any indication then I would agree with him because this has felt identical.

And if your toddlers are needing something fun to keep em busy...Lima beans and muffin tins, let the fun begin!

Xoxo

Ronda

Gluten free: Gimmick or a God send? We'll see...

Kael woke up early early yesterday morning, but thanks to TEAM WORK!  Sam corralled the little man and got him back to bed while I got Caleb back to bed.  Caleb was roused in the repeated efforts to get Kael to stay in bed.  But then Kael didn’t get out of bed again until 6am.  Can I get a ‘WOOT WOOT!’

Today was a similar story but it was me being the corraller, enforcer, and finally at 5:40am I told Kael he did a good job and we came downstairs.  He is a good boy and I feel more rested.  My go-juice, Seattle’s Best Coffee, is kicking in now and my eyes are wide open.

My weekend was a pleasant little one.  I have a dear friend who is getting married this coming Saturday and he and his fiancé asked me to take some engagement photo’s for them.  I was honored.  They turned out really good.  I am not a photographer…I just have a really nice camera (THANKS DAD!).

We went to our friends Steve and Angie’s for dinner Saturday night.  They are a wonderful couple and she made Zucchini Soup which I have never had prior to that night, but I plan to make and blog about it because it was delicious!  Creamy and delicate, beautiful in color and texture…yummmmmm.

Have you seen that movie Juila & Julie, oh if you haven’t you should.  It is really cute, and it is about food and blogging!  It is about a present day woman who starts making and blogging all of Julia Child’s recipes over the course of a year.  The story flips between the present day gal and Meryl Streep who plays Julia.  I enjoyed it.  And it gave me an idea…but I will be much less lengthy since I want to try something for a week and see if there is any weight behind it.  (for our family at least).

Kael has had chronic diarrhea (don’t worry I will bring this idea together in a second…I know what you’re thinking, ‘what possibly could Julia Child or that movie have to do with your kids bowel movements???’  Well let me tell you.

Upon searching the internet for answers as to why this could be happening I stumbled upon some answers that have me ready to try something new for Kael…Gluten Free.

I have in the past somewhat snubbed my nose at the Gluten Free diets since we went all natural and it seemed to really make a huge difference for Kael.  I felt bad for all the people who had omitted gluten from their diets when they maybe didn’t need to.  Gluten is found in foods processed from wheat…so basically everything delicious.  Bummer.

Celiac disease is what is behind it.  And Diarrhea is one, just one, of the symptoms of this disease which basically is like a food allergy to gluten.  So I am going to give this little thing a whirl.  I would be totally bummed if that is what it is though because I went to the grocery store yesterday and there was hardly a thing he could eat (or would eat…picky toddler).  Oh well, this morning his poo was actually totally normal.  So maybe we are past the problem.  We have been giving him Culturelle which is live cultures (like in yogurt) that you mix with their drink.  It has helped a TON.  Not cheap though, and I would just rather this yuckie problem get resolved.

Well, today I am getting a Gluten Free cook book at the Library (hope they have one) and I am going to see if it makes a difference for Kael, and his butt.  I will try it for a week and blog about it.  Just one week…can’t be too bad.  And if it works I will switch back to his regular diet for another week and see if the problem comes back.

I know that a lot of parents with Spectrum kids go Gluten Free…I think it is worth a shot for us to see if it helps.

Sunday was nice except we had to leave church because Kael was hurting kids in his sunday school class.  He wasn't sharing, he tried to choak a kid, and then he slapped a little girl right in the face.  Sam went in and gave him a swat (his teachers had already tried timeouts and nothing was working).  It was bad timing as we were just about to go on stage to lead worship.  As soon as worship was over we went and got him and took him home.

Children are a lot of work.  The young girls working at the mall yesterday were mortified, and I was mortified with them as both the boys Team-Worked themselves against me...but Sam got new shoes! :0)  I kept the little boys busy for him.  Grateful for the wisdom that came to this weary mother and I forked out the ridiculous $3.87 for a medium strawberry banana Orange Julius.  I don't ever remember them being so expensive.  Inflation I guess.  The little gal on the otherside of the counter stared at me in mild disgust as I held one toddler between my legs and one by mid arm while attempting to pay her. I looked her right in the eyes and said, 'don't ever have children.' She smiled.  I don't mean this of course, but I will say that it is 100% more difficult to raise children then I ever thought it would be.  Maybe it is just my children...but I doubt it.  Mom and Dad, you amaze me.

So…here we go Gluten Free for a week (I already failed this morning with him and gave in to his repeated requests for a roll).  Wish me luck.

Xoxo

Ronda

Homeless happenings and Toddler training

Good morning again.  Thank you for your prayers.  Kael slept in until 4:15am this morning.  But per a few parenting books, instead of getting up with him I had a glass of water ready for a drink, and a diaper ready for a fresh change.  After he had his drink and new diaper I put him back in bed, tucked him in and told him “it is still night night time Kael.”

I put him back in bed over and over again.  By 5:30am Caleb was awake too.  So at that point I finally took them both downstairs.  I will try again tonight.  I am feeling more empowered to be consistent.

On my lunch break yesterday I went to the Library and was able to buy a heap of magazines for a quarter a piece.  I am pretty excited.  I really enjoy looking at them for ideas on entertaining, house renovating, parenting, family time, recipes, crafts, etc…

Last night when I got home from work the little boys were so hyper.  I decided we needed to get out of the house and go burn some energy.  I took them to a park in Joplin that I have taken them to many times before.  Apparently since the tornado though the park has become a homeless villiage/drug deal central.  After about 8 minutes of play time I told the little boys it was time to go.  They both started crying as I hauled them back to the car.  I just kept my eyes forward and kept saying out loud to them that it was time to go change Kael’s diaper because he pooped.  This was true, but I also thought it would be a good deterrent.  Who wants to mug a mom with two little boys who stink like poop…well, hopefully no one, but I wasn’t taking any chances.  I got out of there.  Not going back either.

Lord willing we can close on our house next week and then the boys will have lots of new places to roam and have fun.

I am amazed that it is already fall.  My house smells AMAZING!  Bath and Body Works candles were burning last night in my kitchen and the smells were so delicious it made me constantly hungry!  I have the wall plug in making my kitchen/living room smell like apples and cinnamon…..mmmm….smells like fall.  Smells engrain memories.

The little boys are doggy piling on me right now. Better go.

Xoxo,

Ronda

Oh and doesn't this look like Paul!  Amy reminded me of this picture I found years ago, and it was just plain creepy how much it looks like my little brother...This is Prince Albert Victor.

Near death, a mother's nightmare

I have had a few close calls as a parent.  Primarily with Caleb who was always a magnet for danger as a baby.  Kael with this Sensory Processing disorder, past numerous bumps and bruises from not being able to adequately feel pain, is usually not one to get hurt.  He is one tough cookie.  Yesterday he was one foot, one second away from being killed right in front of my eyes.  It was the worst moment ever because I could see it happening but I could do little to stop it.

I was outside playing with the little boys.  We live on a street without a fence in our yard (we are moving soon YAY), and cars often drive by too fast.  When I am outside with the boys I am usually standing playing referee keeping them inside a comfortable zone close to the house.  I was sitting on the edge of the driveway which is about 25 feet from the street and Kael started walking toward the road.  He was smiling at me as he walked because he knew he was being naughty.  I told him to come here now! He giggled and kept shuffling his dusty little feet through the gravel.

I knew this was a bad thing because I could hear a car in the distance.  I didn’t want to start running at him because I knew he would run.  So I stood up thinking I would calmly approach him like a wild animal catcher and gently corral him back to safety.  I didn't get that chance.  As soon as I stood up he started running toward the street.  So I started running and screaming and waving my arms.  It all happened so fast, but mathematically speaking I could see the vehicle coming over the hill and I could see where Kael was and the speed at which they were both moving and he was going to get hit if he didn’t stop or if they didn’t stop and I wouldn't get to him in time.

This seriously happened SO FAST.  They didn’t see me screaming and running and madly waving my arms.  They didn’t see Kael 3 feet, 40 lbs barreling toward them squealing and giggling as he ran.  I was right Kael would have been hit and killed.  He reached the street the very moment that they would have plowed into him, but he stopped.  His toes were touching the road, but he stopped.

It was the worst moment ever.  I understand that it could have really been the worst moment ever, but it was still the worst moment ever.

I could picture it over and over and over again in my mind seeing Kael getting hit.  I dragged him and Caleb into the house. Sam and I agreed that for now Kael can’t be outside.  He doesn’t have a concept of danger past he knows not to touch something “HOT”.  It is really a challenge to teach a child with SPD danger.  He also thought it was a fun game, mom chasing him.  He doesn’t obey me 90% of the time because he has very few consequences that actually bother him.

My heart still hurts.

I kept thinking about a two year old little boy in Washington in Tulalip who was hit and killed by a car because as he ran toward the road his family chased after him.  He thought it was a funny game.  So he ran faster and ran right into the street.

Kael was so close.  What do I do now?  How do I teach him?

Sam and I prayed for him last night and we thanked God for keeping him safe.  We prayed that God would send Kael a few angels to keep guard.  We are going to try and keep him out of danger as much as is humanly reasonable.

So if you see Kael duck taped to Sam or my hip, now you will know why.

Whew...Pray with me?

God, thank you so much for keeping Kael safe.  Thank you so much for not letting me watch my little boy die.  Please help me.  Please help me know how to teach Kael.  Please unlock his brain and help him to grow and learn more and more so that he can communicate clearly and be clearly communicated with.  Thank you for entrusting us with Kael.  We want to do a good job, but sometimes I don't understand the best way.  Thank you so much for mercy.

xoxo

Ronda

Put em' up!

I love my husband so stinkin’ much.  We got in a big fight this weekend.  Sam and I rarely…RARELY fight.  It is rare that we even disagree.  We both love and adore one another.  So what would two people who rarely disagree, who love and adore one another have to fight about?  Kids.

Toddlers are tough.  And not tough like strong or durable (they are that too), but tough like wanna pull your hair out!  They are so tough that Sam informed me the other day that he wasn’t sure we were cut out for more.  Yea, that didn’t go over so well.  We had always agreed that we wanted a big family.  We love having people over and we love our family, so four children is what we have discussed for the longest time.  Granted, having two toddlers 15 months apart and Kael with his Sensory Processing Disorder makes for a lot of work, not that it doesn’t come without its rewards.

Here is how our fight came about.  Sam called me and wanted to know if I cared if he went up to visit a friend in Kansas City for the day on Sunday.  He asked, he didn’t tell.  I hummed and hawed, wanting him to be able to go, but knowing that it meant I would be home all day by myself with the little boys.  I am home Saturday’s while Sam works all day by myself with them.  Two days in a row, by myself…UH!  That is a lot of work!  I explained this to him, that I didn’t love the idea of being home alone with the little boys two days in a row and that he wouldn’t want to be either.  Right then it was like a light bulb went off in his head.  If neither of us would want to be home all day with our boys by ourselves, maybe we shouldn’t have more.

No, no, no, no no!  How I wished I could have just said, “Sure honey, that is a great idea!  Go, be free, have FUN!  Enjoy!”  So instead, I got my future turned upside down…my future babies were being ripped from my future dreams and I became very upset.  I felt like on top of it Sam was telling me we were bad parents.  We have since worked it all out.  It turned out to be a very good discussion where we sat and talked about all that we desire for our children and our family.  What traditions we loved and valued in our upbringing.  And we also took stock of the importance of our time as individuals and as a couple independent of our children.

This argument was awesome.  It wasn’t awesome in the middle of it, but it stirred conversation that went past, “How was your day?” “Good, yours?” “Good.” “Good.”

It brought us back to our hopes and dreams and plans and desires and goals and vision…it encouraged us and spurred us to be better parents, better workers, better people, better for each other.

Sam still wants more kids.  YAY! It was a momentary realization for him that toddlers are very time consuming, energy consuming, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, consuming.  He realized that we never fought until we had kids.  For him, it isn’t that he wouldn’t want kids, but that he does need some man time, and I know it!  Because I need some mom time.  And we need some us time.  We are going to slate out some Man time, Mom time, Us time, and kid time.  The kid time will be each of us spending a little bit of time with just one kid.  So it will be Daddy and Kael time and Mommy and Caleb time, and then switch.  Our boys are little individuals.  Caleb loves Diego, and Kael loves Thomas…and oh how they cry when they have to watch each other’s show.

I was married before…a lot of you might not know that.  I know that not all husbands are like Sam.  I know that not all husbands adore their wives.  This is just me talking about my specific situation.  It breaks my heart when I think about broken marriages where people are living in ugly situations.  I was in a really ugly marriage.  Today I was reading in Ephesians and I love where it talks about our marital responsibilities.  Wives respect your husbands…Husbands LOVE your wives.  It is talked about in Ephesians chapter 5 if you are curious.

I couldn’t do much right in my first marriage according to my husband.  I was very young.  As I look back I see where I personally went wrong.  I would cry out to God and was desperate to be out of that situation, but I don’t ever remember praying for John (my ex).  I don’t remember praying for him that God would change his heart.  I was a baby spiritually even though I was raised in church.  I may have and it may just be that my memory is really crummy.  It was such a dark time in my life, I see very little light in it.  So if you are in a situation like this I would like to pray for you.  I will be praying for you regardless...God knows.  So I will lift all the marriages up of anyone who actually reads this little blog, which I think may be down to my parents some days.

:-D Love ya Dad!  Love ya Mom!

I hope you had a wonderful weekend.  I am so excited that I have a guest blogger tomorrow. A testimony came trickling in...Mindy Horr (Cliff and Casey Horr's daughter) sent her's into me just the other day.  It is awesome.

xoxo

Ronda

Do you pass the test?

Restoration, my salvation.  He redeemed me and he gives me new mercy every day…and every day I need it.

Kael bonked his noggin about a week ago.  Coffee tables, they are dangerous!  I have a scar in my eyebrow from a coffee table.  Kids in elementary school called me "bald eyebrow" a few times (really guys, that was the best you could come up with?)  I was kind of proud of my scar.  Lucky for me, I have photoshop!  So I edited out Kael's scar for many of the rest of these pictures.

Wallah!  Scar-be-gone! and Kid-be-happy! 

I have been on a journey with the Lord this past week as he leads me through Paul’s writings. I have gained such respect for that man and feel like I know him.  It has brought me tremendous joy and I have learned so much. At the end of 2^nd Corinthians in Chapter 13 verse 5 it says:

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith.  Test yourselves.  Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—Unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

I finished 2nd Corinthians and made my way right on into Galations.  Not a very long book, but I see Paul handing out some spankin’s again as he has to correct them for accepting other people’s doctrine and not holding on to what they were taught and knew to be true.  At least that is what I gathered.

I flipped back to Paul’s charge to the church at Corinth to “examine yourselves,” and I read what he has to say to the church at Galatia, in it I see an opportunity to “test yourself.”  So, let’s test ourselves…before we wreck ourselves:

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.  For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.  But if you are led by the Spirit,, you are not under the law.  Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissentions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.  I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Galations 5: 16-26

As I read through the list of the evidence of the works of the flesh, I was feeling pretty good until I got to jealousy, rivalries, dissentions, divisions, envy…it is so easy to fall into these traps.  I know it first hand. And then as I read the fruit of the Spirit characteristics, I questioned if I exhibited those in my life.  I mentioned a week ago that God was dealing with me in the area of Pride and that I cared what people thought of me.  At the same time, what people think of you...especially if more than one person agrees, can be an indicator of something in you that needs work.

If no one wants to drive with you because you are a huge road raging maniac and you don’t have an ounce of patience or grace for anyone else on the road…maybe everyone that drives on the road isn’t an awful driver, maybe you are just awful.  That maybe a little harsh, but I knew someone like this from my past.  I remember once driving with him and we slowed to 30 on the freeway so that he could cuss out a mom in a minivan.  Let me tell you she was just as pleased to slow down and dish it right back.

I was mortified.

God showed me this last week as I opened myself up to his examination that I can come across as harsh, pressing, and borderline judgmental (I like to say borderline, it makes me feel better).  I was genuinely shocked by this because to me I could brush it off as people are just easily offended.  I could maybe get away with saying this about one person, maybe two tops, but when there are three or four people that feel this way then I have to ask myself if maybe I am…maybe I am the one who needs the work! Ouch. My pride is already so black and blue from asking God to search me and know me.  It has been a ride, let me tell you.  But you had better believe that I am committing myself over to him to help me make the necessary changes...or all this self examination would be pointless without change.  I am lovin' Ephesians…in chapter 1, right off the bat, he is bringing me home.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. Ephesians 1: 7-10

This is a good spot to pray I think.

Father, I am so sorry that I am guilty of judging people. I have cared more of what people thought of my physical appearance and in the process I have judged people and put them down.  I haven’t put others above myself.  In fact a lot of times I forget to think about others and the world revolves around my head.  My life becomes so important, daily tasks take over my agenda.  What you have been teaching me these past few days, weeks, months, years, is contrary to my nature and I find myself fighting my flesh constantly.  I am so grateful for that!  I am grateful that at least there is a fight taking place.  And in your word you are giving me the weapons to win.  You are showing me your desire.  I am so grateful that you are long suffering…Keep this fire burning bright.  You are my cornerstone.  My rock, my salvation, you are my foundation.  You are a skilled carpenter and I am under construction.

Today has been a delight.  Not much to it other than Kael continues to ROCK at potty training.  Caleb has been doing pretty good, not quite as awesome as Kael.

Here is Kael waiting for his M and M’s, his reward for rocking the potty.

Kael continues to develop leaps and bounds.  Thanks to Lisa, our nanny, Kael likes to shout 1-2-3 TEAMWORK!!  1-2-3 TEAMWORK!!  It is really cute.  I love it.  Here is Kael playing with some Play-doh.  He was a smiley boy which is a really nice change.  Normally it is really hard to get him to smile for pictures.

Keep praying for Kael that God will continue to catch him up in the areas of language and social/emotional.  He is doing SO well!  Love that little critter.

Isn't he adorable!  I know I am bias, but what a little hunk!

Look at those eye lashes!

Here he is like "Wait a minute Mom, don't forget about Caleb."  He actually calls Caleb, Kael.  He goes "OH NO, KAEL!" when Caleb is doing something naughty.  I love that Kael can tattle tale now.  It is actually a HUGE help!

And there is Caleb...absolutely two.  He is two too much these days.

Concentrating on coloring...and all is quite in the house for 2.5 seconds.  Until one of them steals the other one's marker and screams erupt.

This is my favorite part about potty training.  Adorable little graphic briefs covering squishy toddler bums while watching Saturday morning cartoons.

Xoxo

Ronda

Toddler Tantrums and Sharpie Shenanigans

I started writing this little post today and well, chaos ensued.  Caleb, who we dubbed “angel baby” as an infant, turned two the first week of June.  Today, he decided that he was going to throw a tantrum.  I have never been through a tantrum before.  I thought I had, but no, I can definitely tell you that I had never been through a tantrum.  Once I experienced an embarrassing Target + toddlers without naps = meltdown mayhem and indecent exposure incident.  But a full-blown tantrum…let me tell you, it was awful.  This is a story of survival.  This is a story of perseverance.  This is a story from the trenches of motherhood.  This…{dramatic pause} is my story.

Caleb and Kael were supposed to be napping.  All was quiet in the house and I sat down and typed out a lovely little blog.  I was just about finished when the boys graced me with their presence.  Each of them scribbled head to toe with Sharpie.  Black Sharpie.

They also were quite creative and scribbled much of my bedroom. Where did that Sharpie come from?  I have no idea.

I didn’t flip out; I decided what was done was done and that I would have to deal with it.  But for now, I was too tired from trying to get them down the first time that I would let them win this battle and postpone naptime.  Caleb however was SO emotional.  I knew I had to put him down.

The nice little thought that I would rock him to sleep popped into my mind.  He decided that was the worst idea ever.  He screamed and arched his back, and fought me tirelessly.  After about 15 minutes of non-stop toddler tantrum action I gave up and put him down.  He threw himself on the ground (bumping his head in the process), he wanted me to hold him, but as soon as I would pick him up he would begin fighting me again.  It went on like this for about 35 minutes and I had no idea what to do with this kid.  He told me several times to “Stop it Ronda!” or “Stop it Mommy!”

Out of desperation and exhaustion I called Sam.  He came home from work to save my day.  He tried to calm Caleb who was way past the realm of calm.  So he took him upstairs and calmly took off his clothes and put him in the tub and turned on the shower.  One minute later Caleb was calm and ready to talk.  Mind you, Caleb talk is pretty coherent but still Toddler-gaberwalkie.  He said that he was ready to be good and that he was all done being naughty.  Sam got called back to work, and Caleb rewound himself.  Hysterics.  I tried to remind him that he was ready to be good and that he was all done being naughty, but he seemed not to recall our recent agreement.

I put him in his toddler bed and snuggled up next to him and within 60 seconds he was fast asleep.  Victory.

All in all today was a rough day.  I am not going to lie.  The majority of the day I felt like I could do no right.  Before the Sharpie incident I had a surprise visit from my in-laws…SURPRISE!  Little boys were filthy of course, and the house was a mess (usually is right before nap time), and I was still in my Pajamas.

What do you say but, “Come on in.”  It was embarrassing.  Got me thinking a little later though, will I be ready when Jesus comes back?  Or just ready with a heap of excuses why I am not ready.  I will think on this more later when I don't feel like a walking sack of potatoes.

One thing good I did today was while the little boys played Play-doh, I made real dough, and from that real dough, I made some really awesome braided French bread.  Sent a loaf home with the Beres family.  This recipe makes 3 loaves!  It was easy, and it was amazing, and it made my house smell amazing.  I want a Scentsy that smells like fresh baked bread.

My day has wiped my energy.  I need a good night sleep and a sweet prayer to send me off.  You don't have to read my prayer if you don't want to.  You can say your own.

God, today has zapped a lot of my energy.  Please renew me as I sleep tonight so that I can be a light for you tomorrow.  Please send rain.  We could use some rain.  I am so grateful right now that I can stand on your word where it says that your mercies are new every morning.  That gives me great joy.  I pray for my little boys.  Today I was being so consistent, yet Caleb consistently, persistently disobeyed me.  Please help me to not lose heart.  Thank you for Kael, that today he was such a big helper and sweet mannered boy.  If they were both being awful I think I would have just sat in the corner and cried.  Thank you for your mercy!  Thank you for my husband and all the blessings that you have given us.  I see lightning flash in the sky.  What a marvelous world you created.  Sorry we messed stuff up.  I love you Lord.

Your daughter, Ronda.

Here are some pictures of the little boys eating bread after the Sharpie Incident, before the Tantrum Throwdown:

Caleb

Kael

Braided Italian Bread

3 cups warm water

2 packages (2 tablespoons) yeast

4 tablespoons sugar

9+ cups flour (9 for dough, + for kneading)

4 teaspoons salt

4 eggs

3 tablespoons oil

1 egg for glaze

Mix water, yeast and sugar.  Let it sit until all ingredients are dissolved.  With a wooden spoon, mix four, salt, eggs and oil with yeast mixture.  Mix well and turn out on floured surface.  Knead mixture until smooth and elastic.  Place dough in lightly greased bowl; turn to coat and let rise in a warm place until doubled in bulk.  Punch down and divide dough into 3 parts.  Divide each part into 3 sections.  Roll each section into a 12” rope.  Braid each group of 3, pinching the ends to seal.  On a lightly greased baking sheet, let rise until double in size.

Preheat oven to 375 F. Brush braided loaves with slightly beaten egg.  Bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

Yield: 3 loaves.  Recipe from “No Mess Dough Board” recipe card that I found in my recipe folder.  It is a keeper. Enjoy!

xoxo

Sunday with Sam: Daddy knows best...probably

It is interesting to me how much my view of the world has changed since becoming a father.  My first born son’s name is Kael.  He just turned three years old and although he is very healthy and active, there are some areas that he has to work a little harder than an average three year old.  Kael doesn’t talk.  I suppose I can clarify that statement a bit more by telling you that Kael actually talks a lot, but you can’t understand him.  It’s not a speech impediment at all, it’s a different language.  Kael is communicating all the time but mostly it sounds like jibberish.  We are told that Kael is challenged with what is called Sensory Integration Disorder which mostly means that Kael doesn’t process external stimuli like you and I do, and therefore he doesn't react as intelligently as one could. 

For instance:  Kael doesn’t feel the shape of his mouth or the placement of his tongue when trying to say a new word and although Kael can try and repeat what you are saying, he is still difficult to understand.  “Kael, can you say Grandpa?”  Kael smiles and says “ooh ooh”.  “Kael, let’s try again..say Graaaannndpaaaa.”  And with more concentration in his face he says, “oooooh oooooh” again.  After a couple of tries we simply clap for him and say, “yeah Kael, good job!”

Although Sensory Integration Disorder is a daily consideration for Ronda and me as parents, we generally do not give Kael any extra leniency for his behavior.  We expect that with patience and consistent structured effort, Kael will be completely up to speed by the time he is in kindergarten or 1^st grade, and we have been told by Kael’s Special Education teachers that this is not only possible but probable.  Kael goes to school every day, even in the summer time.  He meets with speech therapists twice a week at school and is getting a jump start on his education while learning to interact with other children.  He has a very strict diet with very little deviation, and we try to maintain a very specific sleep schedule for him also even though he tends to wake up earlier than any parent would want to.  There are some tricks to those things but I will let Ronda get into more detail of some nifty tricks we have learned along the way.

It is important for me to tell you that the concern for Kael’s special needs rarely crosses my mind.  I never wonder what he would be like if he didn’t have these sensory issues.  I never do, because I couldn’t possibly hope for a more wonderful, beautiful, 1^st born son than my Kael Alexander.

Before I was a father it was only speculation how I might feel toward my child.  Unlike mothers, who begin to bond with their baby before he/she is born, I think for dads it comes from interaction.  Kael and I have a special understanding that makes it ok that we don’t get to talk to each other yet.  Of course I can talk to him, and he understands some things like “pick that up” or “Kael, come here!!!” but my favorite is “Give daddy a hug” and he will wrap himself around me and then it’s “How about a kiss?” and either he gives his ‘old man’ a good smacker, or will play this little game with me that always ends with me tickling him until he gives in and I can steal a kiss from my boy.

Kael is definitely a daddy’s boy, and that is just fine with me.  Sidebar:  I don’t love Caleb any less, I just decided to write about Kael today, and I don’t want any goofy comments about it later.

Now, the reason for all of this blubbering on and on about my son is this; I recently had a conversation with a teenager who couldn’t understand my point of view on a particular topic because he didn’t have a good relationship with his father.  I realized that it is so very sad for a young man who doesn’t have a good connection with his Dad because it is so much harder for him to grasp the idea of God’s never ending love.  I know more about God’s love for me by having two children (and hopefully more to come someday) than any book or sermon could ever possibly convey. It’s hard for me to even consider that Kael isn’t perfect, even though I know that he isn’t. (Not because of the sensory thing, but because no one is perfect except Christ).  And although I get frustrated with him sometimes, it would be utterly impossible for him to lose my love.  That is how God feels about us!  No, we aren’t perfect.  No, we don’t always please Him, and sometimes we do the opposite thing from what He told us to.  We may even do it on purpose.  God still loves you.  He loves you like I love my Son.  He sees you with ‘unconditional love glasses.’ It doesn’t always make sense, but I get it.

A couple more things I have realized about fathers that I took for granted (generally speaking):

1.       I make decisions based on what I believe is best for my children, not just to be strict.

2.       I could care less what others think about my parenting, but I care very much what others think about my children and how they reflect upon me.

3.       If I were ever in the circumstance to choose, I would happily give up my life for either of my children. {super serious I know, but very true}

4.       I’m not concerned with what my boys will be when they “grow up.” (sports, music, etc….) I am most concerned with them growing up to be happy.

Father’s Day is coming up, and I encourage everyone to put a little extra effort into honoring the father in their life this year.  He deserves it because it can be a lot of work sometimes.

Sam i Am

What a NIGHTMARE! What a RELIEF!

LORD have mercy!  This weekend I got pushed to what I am thinking is my limit.  I remember seeing women in the store getting slapped and kicked and screamed at by their toddlers and thinking, that will NEVER happen to me.  'I will bend my little tot over right there and train them that kind of behavior is unacceptable!'  Oh, if it were only so easy.

The lessons I learned this weekend are:

Make sure your toddler is well rested BEFORE you go out.

Wear clothing that will not get pulled down and show your bra.  [ATTENTION: Target Shoppers, "hoo-hoo's" displayed on isle 5.  Just listen for the unruly toddler making a scene.]

Do not use a cart that allows your toddlers to sit in close proximity facing one another.  Unless your toddlers are angels, in which case I am insanely jealous, and you are extremely blessed...Lucky you.

Leave the store BEFORE your toddler reaches maximum tantrum velocity.  Once tantrum mode has engaged, it is critical to vacate the premises immediately.  SAVE YOURSELF!

I am sure that several young women determined today when they saw me that they either A) Never want to have children, or B) They will spank their toddlers on the spot and it will be that easy (lol, yeah, no).

So here is the story.  I love my children, let me first say that right now.  Let me also say, I don't always like the way they behave.  I laughed a little when I wrote this because I can picture God looking at me going, 'You got that right!' about me.  I learned a lot of lessons on Saturday when I decided to leave the house to drop off some cheesecake brownies at the church for the relief workers and then 'quickly' stop by Target.  I got one of the the huge, 'I have one too many children so I need a family size cart', carts, and buckled the boys in.  At first it was fun, then everything changed.

Introducing exhibit A, photo documentation of Toddler in question (right) having fun before leaving the house.

Kael and Caleb playing in the water the morning in question.

I now introduce exhibit B, Springy Microphone Toy.  


borrowed with permission from www.sugarbeecrafts.com 

 I gave one to each of the boys and figured this would keep them entertained while I 'quickly' (there's that word again) finished up my shopping.  By the time I got from the toy section to the food section Kael was hitting Caleb with the toy microphone.  When I took it away from him he started hitting and scratching Caleb like he was in 'Cat Fight' frenzy mode.

I don't even know how to describe my efforts to quell this storm.  I held him on my hip, he slapped me in the face.  I gave him a swat, he screamed and started flailing about.  I put him on my shoulders and he started pulling my hair and chicken kicking me with his little feet.  Where does he learn this I would like to know!  Oh my word.  It was AWFUL!  Everyone was staring at me and I was defenseless.

I was wearing an adorable halter tank top; it was no match for this battle.

I now present for you exhibit C, adorable halter tank top:

When I would pick him up it would pull down.  When I would pull it up, he would slither out of my arms.  So here I am trying to maneuver this HUGE family cart, hold my hot to trot tot, and keep my halter from spreading the love and showing my "hoo-hoo's" to all the Target gawkers.

I knew it was time to get out of there, before this scene got any worse.  By now I was sweating and Kael was sweating, and Caleb was crying.  I had tried to hug him, I tried to do joint compressions, I tried to have him hug himself (all sensory tips for sensory deficient kiddos)...nothing worked, so I needed to go, NOW.

I got up to the front of the store and there were lines.  Normally Target has a checker standing around waiting to help, not Saturday!  Nope, everyone and their mother decided it was a good day to head on down to the bull's-eye!  So I stood there with the monster cart, a kicking Kael riding Superman style on my hip, trying to keep Caleb from helping himself to the candy they always put within the reach of little sticky fingers, hot, and frustrated.

I was frustrated because I don't understand.

I brought them home and gave them each a drink and then took them straight up to bed.  The insanity however didn't happily end there with sweet naps that restore stinkers to saints...oh no.  They wouldn't sleep!  Kael continued to fit in his crib and Caleb wouldn't stay put.  I heard Caleb crying so I went to check on him and he had unzipped Kael's crib tent, climbed in, and then they had zipped themselves in so they were stuck together like cage fighters.  And that is what they were doing, crib fighting!

I pulled Caleb out and re-zipped Kael in, put Caleb in bed and sternly told him it was "night-night" time and that if he got out of bed again he was in BIG trouble.  He could care less.  My children do not take me seriously.  Probably because I am not serious.

Sam pulled me aside the other day and told me that we need to "get on the same page."  He is right.  The boys do great at daycare.  Kael rocks at school.  When I was in Washington Kael was a PERFECT I was told this by Sam and everyone who came in contact with him.  So what is my problem?  What am I doing wrong?

Sam explained to me that I am not consistent.  I do not have a routine, and Kael needs consistent, he needs a solid routine.

*Bing* Light bulb displayed over my head.  At the same time though I was privately having a 'I am a good mother' pity party, not wanting to hear that I could be part of the problem.

God, thank you for giving me the most sensitive Husband who adores me and our children.  Thank you for giving him wisdom to see what needs to happen in our home to make it peaceful.  Thank you for checking me.  Thank you for working humility into my life.  You can stop now...{smile}  God, I love my children, but raising two toddlers is not easy.  Kael has some special needs Lord, let me be tender hearted and longsuffering toward him like you are with me.  Help me know the best way to teach him and train him so that he will come out of this stage of his life gentle to others, generous, empathetic, kind, and loving.  Give me patience beyond measure.  Thank you for keeping my attitude calm, cool, and collected despite being humbled through humility in public by Kael 'The bulldozer' Hickey.  Thank you for giving me tremendous understanding and compassion for this little guy.  Thank you for opening his mouth and teaching him to talk.  Thank you for a whole minded, soft spirited boy, and that years from now, when I look back and read this blog, I will be able to laugh and praise your name for bring us through.

Thank you Lord for helping me come up with a plan, and for sticking to it.

Whew, I love that I can stand on the promises of God and cast my cares upon him.  I also love that his word says he will not give me more than I can handle.  So with the Lord on my side...I got this.

So before my whole Toddler Tantrum at Target there was Disbelief at the Relief.  I swung by the church, as I mentioned, to drop off some more goodies.  I heard rave reviews about the Brownies I made on Friday that I blogged about. They loved them, and I love our helpers so it was a love-a-thon!



Showers our church built for the helpers



I just want to say it is not just our church doing this.  It is almost all the churches in Joplin left standing are reaching out and supporting the supporters.  Every church you drive by has pretty much the same set up with tents and free food, and truck trailers, and stock piles.  But it is all needed to take on a project of this magnitude.  We are talking 15 miles long, over a mile wide, sheer garbage dump style destruction.  Piles and piles of wreckage.  Thank you to many of you who sent $upport.  Pastor Larry read a letter in church yesterday from a family in Snohomish who knew Sam and me.  He pronounced Snohomish, 'Snow-hom-ish', not 'Snow-home-ish' and asked if it was Swedish.

So many people, endless hours, huge hearts, serving others selflessly.  WHAT A RELIEF!  What a blessing!  So I shall thank them by bringing them cake!  YUM!  Thank you, thank you!  I will post about my cake that I baked tomorrow...probably the best cake ever.

I want to thank Larry Platt from church for coming up and greeting me yesterday.  He has been reading my blog and gave me some good advice about my 'Speakin of Squeakin' post and I wanted to share with you.  He said, "squeaky wheel gets the grease, but sometimes the squeaky wheel gets replaced!"  HA!  That is definately something to remember!  Thanks Larry!

xoxo

Ronda