Monday, June 6, 2011


LORD have mercy!  This weekend I got pushed to what I am thinking is my limit.  I remember seeing women in the store getting slapped and kicked and screamed at by their toddlers and thinking, that will NEVER happen to me.  'I will bend my little tot over right there and train them that kind of behavior is unacceptable!'  Oh, if it were only so easy.
The lessons I learned this weekend are:
Make sure your toddler is well rested BEFORE you go out.
Wear clothing that will not get pulled down and show your bra.  [ATTENTION: Target Shoppers, "hoo-hoo's" displayed on isle 5.  Just listen for the unruly toddler making a scene.]
Do not use a cart that allows your toddlers to sit in close proximity facing one another.  Unless your toddlers are angels, in which case I am insanely jealous, and you are extremely blessed...Lucky you.
Leave the store BEFORE your toddler reaches maximum tantrum velocity.  Once tantrum mode has engaged, it is critical to vacate the premises immediately.  SAVE YOURSELF!
I am sure that several young women determined today when they saw me that they either A) Never want to have children, or B) They will spank their toddlers on the spot and it will be that easy (lol, yeah, no).
So here is the story.  I love my children, let me first say that right now.  Let me also say, I don't always like the way they behave.  I laughed a little when I wrote this because I can picture God looking at me going, 'You got that right!' about me.  I learned a lot of lessons on Saturday when I decided to leave the house to drop off some cheesecake brownies at the church for the relief workers and then 'quickly' stop by Target.  I got one of the the huge, 'I have one too many children so I need a family size cart', carts, and buckled the boys in.  At first it was fun, then everything changed.

Introducing exhibit A, photo documentation of Toddler in question (right) having fun before leaving the house.

Kael and Caleb playing in the water the morning in question.
I now introduce exhibit B, Springy Microphone Toy.  

borrowed with permission from 
 I gave one to each of the boys and figured this would keep them entertained while I 'quickly' (there's that word again) finished up my shopping.  By the time I got from the toy section to the food section Kael was hitting Caleb with the toy microphone.  When I took it away from him he started hitting and scratching Caleb like he was in 'Cat Fight' frenzy mode.
I don't even know how to describe my efforts to quell this storm.  I held him on my hip, he slapped me in the face.  I gave him a swat, he screamed and started flailing about.  I put him on my shoulders and he started pulling my hair and chicken kicking me with his little feet.  Where does he learn this I would like to know!  Oh my word.  It was AWFUL!  Everyone was staring at me and I was defenseless.
I was wearing an adorable halter tank top; it was no match for this battle.

I now present for you exhibit C, adorable halter tank top:

When I would pick him up it would pull down.  When I would pull it up, he would slither out of my arms.  So here I am trying to maneuver this HUGE family cart, hold my hot to trot tot, and keep my halter from spreading the love and showing my "hoo-hoo's" to all the Target gawkers.
I knew it was time to get out of there, before this scene got any worse.  By now I was sweating and Kael was sweating, and Caleb was crying.  I had tried to hug him, I tried to do joint compressions, I tried to have him hug himself (all sensory tips for sensory deficient kiddos)...nothing worked, so I needed to go, NOW.
I got up to the front of the store and there were lines.  Normally Target has a checker standing around waiting to help, not Saturday!  Nope, everyone and their mother decided it was a good day to head on down to the bull's-eye!  So I stood there with the monster cart, a kicking Kael riding Superman style on my hip, trying to keep Caleb from helping himself to the candy they always put within the reach of little sticky fingers, hot, and frustrated.
I was frustrated because I don't understand.
I brought them home and gave them each a drink and then took them straight up to bed.  The insanity however didn't happily end there with sweet naps that restore stinkers to saints...oh no.  They wouldn't sleep!  Kael continued to fit in his crib and Caleb wouldn't stay put.  I heard Caleb crying so I went to check on him and he had unzipped Kael's crib tent, climbed in, and then they had zipped themselves in so they were stuck together like cage fighters.  And that is what they were doing, crib fighting!
I pulled Caleb out and re-zipped Kael in, put Caleb in bed and sternly told him it was "night-night" time and that if he got out of bed again he was in BIG trouble.  He could care less.  My children do not take me seriously.  Probably because I am not serious.
Sam pulled me aside the other day and told me that we need to "get on the same page."  He is right.  The boys do great at daycare.  Kael rocks at school.  When I was in Washington Kael was a PERFECT I was told this by Sam and everyone who came in contact with him.  So what is my problem?  What am I doing wrong?
Sam explained to me that I am not consistent.  I do not have a routine, and Kael needs consistent, he needs a solid routine.
*Bing* Light bulb displayed over my head.  At the same time though I was privately having a 'I am a good mother' pity party, not wanting to hear that I could be part of the problem.
God, thank you for giving me the most sensitive Husband who adores me and our children.  Thank you for giving him wisdom to see what needs to happen in our home to make it peaceful.  Thank you for checking me.  Thank you for working humility into my life.  You can stop now...{smile}  God, I love my children, but raising two toddlers is not easy.  Kael has some special needs Lord, let me be tender hearted and longsuffering toward him like you are with me.  Help me know the best way to teach him and train him so that he will come out of this stage of his life gentle to others, generous, empathetic, kind, and loving.  Give me patience beyond measure.  Thank you for keeping my attitude calm, cool, and collected despite being humbled through humility in public by Kael 'The bulldozer' Hickey.  Thank you for giving me tremendous understanding and compassion for this little guy.  Thank you for opening his mouth and teaching him to talk.  Thank you for a whole minded, soft spirited boy, and that years from now, when I look back and read this blog, I will be able to laugh and praise your name for bring us through.
Thank you Lord for helping me come up with a plan, and for sticking to it.
Whew, I love that I can stand on the promises of God and cast my cares upon him.  I also love that his word says he will not give me more than I can handle.  So with the Lord on my side...I got this.
So before my whole Toddler Tantrum at Target there was Disbelief at the Relief.  I swung by the church, as I mentioned, to drop off some more goodies.  I heard rave reviews about the Brownies I made on Friday that I blogged about. They loved them, and I love our helpers so it was a love-a-thon!

Showers our church built for the helpers

I just want to say it is not just our church doing this.  It is almost all the churches in Joplin left standing are reaching out and supporting the supporters.  Every church you drive by has pretty much the same set up with tents and free food, and truck trailers, and stock piles.  But it is all needed to take on a project of this magnitude.  We are talking 15 miles long, over a mile wide, sheer garbage dump style destruction.  Piles and piles of wreckage.  Thank you to many of you who sent $upport.  Pastor Larry read a letter in church yesterday from a family in Snohomish who knew Sam and me.  He pronounced Snohomish, 'Snow-hom-ish', not 'Snow-home-ish' and asked if it was Swedish.
So many people, endless hours, huge hearts, serving others selflessly.  WHAT A RELIEF!  What a blessing!  So I shall thank them by bringing them cake!  YUM!  Thank you, thank you!  I will post about my cake that I baked tomorrow...probably the best cake ever.
I want to thank Larry Platt from church for coming up and greeting me yesterday.  He has been reading my blog and gave me some good advice about my 'Speakin of Squeakin' post and I wanted to share with you.  He said, "squeaky wheel gets the grease, but sometimes the squeaky wheel gets replaced!"  HA!  That is definately something to remember!  Thanks Larry!



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