I had a career as a computer operator for a bank, drove a new car, lived with a very handsome man on acreage in a nice home and denied myself nothing. I had everything I was told one needed to strive for in life and it was all meaningless. Now what? I wasn’t even 20 yet. Where was the joy all this stuff was suppose to give me? My homeless friend had been right after all. He had told me the meaning of life was to make yourself as comfortable as you can until you die. I had been appalled at that thought but I was living it. I shared these feelings of emptiness with some friends of mine and they figured I needed a trip to the river so off we went for a day of fun.
When we got there, there were two bikers with a six pack of beer. Beer… you know the generic type with the white can and black BEER written on the side. Good stuff. I asked if I could buy one and they obliged. My friends were recovering alcoholics and didn’t drink as was one of the bikers. We made plans to have a BBQ at the sober biker’s house. Armed with directions, we headed out and couldn’t find his driveway. We knew we were close so we stopped and asked some kids playing in their yard if they knew where he lived and they pointed at the driveway almost directly across the street. Our host had Bible verses written all over the place and my friends began talking to him about Jesus. It seems they all knew him with the exception of the beer drinker.
My restlessness became worse. Routine, responsibility and work began to drag on me. I was hopeless. I figured a new fur coat would help and lunch at McDonalds… a “Happy Meal” maybe? At McDonald’s there was an older man cleaning the lobby with a bounce in his step. He was greeting everyone with an enthusiastic “How are ya today?” and when they replied, he would exclaim, “Well, PRAISE JESUS!”… I looked at him and thought, “What does he have to be so happy about? He’s about 60 and working at McDonalds!” Off to work I went trying to ignore all the Jesus stickers on the cars in front of me at every light. There has to be something to this Jesus I thought. Why else would there be so many crosses around.
I wanted to run away so again I talked about how I felt with my friends. This time my friend suggested I go talk to our biker friend so she called him. When I got on the phone he asked how I was doing and I said fine. Then he said, “How are you REALLY doing?” and I burst into tears. He told me to come over to his house after work and we would talk. I worked nightshift so at midnight off I drove out to Machias and as is my custom got lost. I drove up and down the road I knew his driveway was on but nothing looked familiar at night. That’s when my brand new car began to overheat! I couldn’t believe it! I pulled over to let the car cool down and to take my fur coat off. I stepped out of the car and there it was. The yard where the kids had been playing when we asked directions. His driveway was right across the street. It was 1:00am when I pulled in. A man came out of the mobile home and for an instant I was scared I had the wrong place. He had shaved his beard and I didn’t recognize him. He gave me a hug and a cup of fresh brewed coffee.
He told me that Jesus died for me. That God wanted me to have a life filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control but my sins had separated me from these very things I craved. I needed new life and God had made a way for me to have it. He talked to me for about an hour when he finally said he had to get ready for bed. He worked day shift. “Here, listen to this.” He put on a tape of Chuck Swindol preaching from the book of John about the crucifixion. There was a Bible sitting in front of me so I just flipped it open and looked down. The words that I was looking at were coming out of the recorder. We were both reading “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” Isaiah 53:6. My heart seized… this God was REAL and I knew I was in big trouble. I had committed every sin I knew of including murder.
Okay, I was ready to cross that line. My friend came out of the bathroom and I told him I was ready to give my life to Jesus… but no way was I going to pray out loud. He said there was no need. God knows your heart. I prayed and said, “God, forgive me for the horrible things I’ve done please take my life.” It was then that I felt my heart become whole and my whole body fill with a vibrancy that I’d never felt before. I felt like I was walking two feet off the ground. My friend laughed and told me it was the Holy Spirit. I wanted more (still do)! It was late though and we had to go to bed. My friend slept on the couch and I took the Bible into the bedroom with me and put it on the headboard. Then I prayed and said, “God, if this feeling is gone in the morning you can forget about this kid. I will chalk it up to too much coffee, a late night and zeal.”
The next morning the first thing I did was grab the Bible, close my eyes, randomly open it and ran my finger down the page and stopped. I opened my eyes to the verse, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22,23... Such awesome truth has been new EVERY morning for the past 30 years…. ♥
|Marie Fissori, Snohomish, Washington|
Note from Ronda~
You have one of the friendliest, cheerful dispositions I have ever seen. You are a BRIGHT shining light for Christ and I know that you bring a smile to his face and joy to his heart. Thank you so much for sharing your salvation story with us. I am honored to know such a wonderful woman of God. You are a blessing to so many.
Keep on Rockin sista!
Love your Sister in Christ,