Love Letters

The glory of the Lord is my strength and my song.  I met a woman yesterday who shared with me her story of God’s glory, and her face glowed.  She beamed with light as she shared of the miraculous way in which the Lord worked in her life.  Her story starts by my estimation around 13 years ago when her husband was sent to prison and she was left to raise her two children on her own.  He would be in prison for 5 years, and for 5 years she would be a single mother.  What he was guilty of is not of consequence to the story, but I can tell you he loves the Lord and it is evident in his life.

She started to tell me a story, but had to back up and expand it a little further.  She told me how she was in desperate need of a good car.  The car she had been left with was a smokin hot Mustang and she detested the attention it brought her.  She needed a mom car, a reliable mom car.  So she found a dealership that was owned by a Christian couple and they helped her find a car on their lot and gave her favorable terms for her trade and really did right by her.  Two weeks later the car broke down.  She went back to them and they gave her a car to drive in the meantime, but they quickly realized that the amount of money it would cost to fix her car (which they were willing to do) would be greater than just letting her pick between two other cars.  She selected one and they told her to drive it a week or so and make sure she really like it.  She loved it.

She had to go back in and fill out the papers for the new car.  That day she was a wreck.  She was broke.  She owed rent, and it was late, and she had another bill that was due.  Times were tough for this single mother of two who was working two jobs and going to school full time (she is a GO-GETTER).  So she woke up in the morning and started praising God in her crisis.  She gave him her bills and she said “God, I can’t do this.  This is what I owe, and you know what I have.  I know that today you are going to show me your glory and you are going to make a way.”  All day long she said these words, “you are going to show me your glory.”

The day went by and she kept saying it and praying it and praising God for the glory he would bring in her time of great need.  She knew she had to go sign the papers and so she drove to the dealership and as she finished signing them the owner handed her a check.  She looked up at him dumbfounded.  “What is this?” she asked.  “That is the difference between the price of the first car and the new car you have.”  She looked at the number on the check, and to the CENT it was the exact total of the two bills she needed to pay.

She was overwhelmed with joy and praised God and shared giddily with the owner of God’s glory.  What an awesome God that we serve!

As I sat reading this morning I began reading about the glory of God.  I just finished 1^st Corinthians *LOVE* that book.  I know it is a book of correction because the folks at Corinth needed lots of correcting, but the way I figure it, I need lots of correcting too.  So I drank it up!  I was thirsty.

Today I found myself in 2^nd Corinthians and 2^nd Corinthians is finding itself overrun with underlines and highlights just the same as 1^st Corinthians.  I came to chapter 4 and starting in verse 7 read:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair, persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed…

{loves}

Now down to verse 15…

For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.  So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Ohhhhhh, isn’t this amazing!

Let’s increase our thanksgiving!  In fact let’s thank him right now.

Jesus, THANK YOU.  Thank you so much for your word...a love letter to my soul. Thank you so much for taking the weight of my sin on your shoulders, despite my sin being detestable to you.  Forgive me for repeatedly getting caught up in myself and my little life and not giving you all the thanks and all the glory and all the honor due your precious name all the time.  I am not worthy of your love and I fall short of your glory.  I fall so far short of your glory that it wouldn’t even make sense to say that I fell short…our sin separated us from God.  Enter you, his perfect beloved son, willing to give it all to come here and live amongst us.  You took on an earthly perspective and you lived a sinless life.  Blemish free.  Then you bridged the gap and covered up our sins.  You bought us, you redeemed us, you reconciled us, and you made a way so that we could have a Father – son, or Father – daughter, relationship.  Without you we would be under the law.  Your word makes it clear that under the law we would be under death.  But by the Spirit we have been given life.  You are everything, and every good thing comes from you.  Thank you for bringing rain.  Thank you for bringing cooler temperatures.  Thank you for your mercy and thank you for your *LOVE*.  In Jesus precious name, Amen.

I want to thank Lisa for bringing me chocolate on Saturday when she heard of my 'Toddler gone crazy day', and she brought me lights for my new porch (Should the Lord will it be our porch).  What a blessing. 

I also want to thank Erin.  I got a package in the mail today.  In it was a jar of Anise, a love note that read:

I am so blessed.  I have wonderful friends.  Thank you Lord!  Now I get to make Manuel’s bread…YUM!

Xoxo

Ronda

Toddler Tantrums and Sharpie Shenanigans

I started writing this little post today and well, chaos ensued.  Caleb, who we dubbed “angel baby” as an infant, turned two the first week of June.  Today, he decided that he was going to throw a tantrum.  I have never been through a tantrum before.  I thought I had, but no, I can definitely tell you that I had never been through a tantrum.  Once I experienced an embarrassing Target + toddlers without naps = meltdown mayhem and indecent exposure incident.  But a full-blown tantrum…let me tell you, it was awful.  This is a story of survival.  This is a story of perseverance.  This is a story from the trenches of motherhood.  This…{dramatic pause} is my story.

Caleb and Kael were supposed to be napping.  All was quiet in the house and I sat down and typed out a lovely little blog.  I was just about finished when the boys graced me with their presence.  Each of them scribbled head to toe with Sharpie.  Black Sharpie.

They also were quite creative and scribbled much of my bedroom. Where did that Sharpie come from?  I have no idea.

I didn’t flip out; I decided what was done was done and that I would have to deal with it.  But for now, I was too tired from trying to get them down the first time that I would let them win this battle and postpone naptime.  Caleb however was SO emotional.  I knew I had to put him down.

The nice little thought that I would rock him to sleep popped into my mind.  He decided that was the worst idea ever.  He screamed and arched his back, and fought me tirelessly.  After about 15 minutes of non-stop toddler tantrum action I gave up and put him down.  He threw himself on the ground (bumping his head in the process), he wanted me to hold him, but as soon as I would pick him up he would begin fighting me again.  It went on like this for about 35 minutes and I had no idea what to do with this kid.  He told me several times to “Stop it Ronda!” or “Stop it Mommy!”

Out of desperation and exhaustion I called Sam.  He came home from work to save my day.  He tried to calm Caleb who was way past the realm of calm.  So he took him upstairs and calmly took off his clothes and put him in the tub and turned on the shower.  One minute later Caleb was calm and ready to talk.  Mind you, Caleb talk is pretty coherent but still Toddler-gaberwalkie.  He said that he was ready to be good and that he was all done being naughty.  Sam got called back to work, and Caleb rewound himself.  Hysterics.  I tried to remind him that he was ready to be good and that he was all done being naughty, but he seemed not to recall our recent agreement.

I put him in his toddler bed and snuggled up next to him and within 60 seconds he was fast asleep.  Victory.

All in all today was a rough day.  I am not going to lie.  The majority of the day I felt like I could do no right.  Before the Sharpie incident I had a surprise visit from my in-laws…SURPRISE!  Little boys were filthy of course, and the house was a mess (usually is right before nap time), and I was still in my Pajamas.

What do you say but, “Come on in.”  It was embarrassing.  Got me thinking a little later though, will I be ready when Jesus comes back?  Or just ready with a heap of excuses why I am not ready.  I will think on this more later when I don't feel like a walking sack of potatoes.

One thing good I did today was while the little boys played Play-doh, I made real dough, and from that real dough, I made some really awesome braided French bread.  Sent a loaf home with the Beres family.  This recipe makes 3 loaves!  It was easy, and it was amazing, and it made my house smell amazing.  I want a Scentsy that smells like fresh baked bread.

My day has wiped my energy.  I need a good night sleep and a sweet prayer to send me off.  You don't have to read my prayer if you don't want to.  You can say your own.

God, today has zapped a lot of my energy.  Please renew me as I sleep tonight so that I can be a light for you tomorrow.  Please send rain.  We could use some rain.  I am so grateful right now that I can stand on your word where it says that your mercies are new every morning.  That gives me great joy.  I pray for my little boys.  Today I was being so consistent, yet Caleb consistently, persistently disobeyed me.  Please help me to not lose heart.  Thank you for Kael, that today he was such a big helper and sweet mannered boy.  If they were both being awful I think I would have just sat in the corner and cried.  Thank you for your mercy!  Thank you for my husband and all the blessings that you have given us.  I see lightning flash in the sky.  What a marvelous world you created.  Sorry we messed stuff up.  I love you Lord.

Your daughter, Ronda.

Here are some pictures of the little boys eating bread after the Sharpie Incident, before the Tantrum Throwdown:

Caleb

Kael

Braided Italian Bread

3 cups warm water

2 packages (2 tablespoons) yeast

4 tablespoons sugar

9+ cups flour (9 for dough, + for kneading)

4 teaspoons salt

4 eggs

3 tablespoons oil

1 egg for glaze

Mix water, yeast and sugar.  Let it sit until all ingredients are dissolved.  With a wooden spoon, mix four, salt, eggs and oil with yeast mixture.  Mix well and turn out on floured surface.  Knead mixture until smooth and elastic.  Place dough in lightly greased bowl; turn to coat and let rise in a warm place until doubled in bulk.  Punch down and divide dough into 3 parts.  Divide each part into 3 sections.  Roll each section into a 12” rope.  Braid each group of 3, pinching the ends to seal.  On a lightly greased baking sheet, let rise until double in size.

Preheat oven to 375 F. Brush braided loaves with slightly beaten egg.  Bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

Yield: 3 loaves.  Recipe from “No Mess Dough Board” recipe card that I found in my recipe folder.  It is a keeper. Enjoy!

xoxo

Something stinks in here!

The more I get in God’s word the more “Amen!”’s erupt from my mouth, the more grateful I become of his mercy and nature, and the more I find myself singing songs of praise in my heart.  I find myself in a very peaceful place.  As I am on this journey God is showing me the pride that coursed through my veins, he is transfusing me with new life.  ‘His agenda and not my own’ are no longer words said in vain, but with real meaning and desire.  I am finding that in obedience to God’s word, there is humility.  And that is exactly what he desires of us.  In our humble state, he can be glorified.  When we are humble, he can be lifted up.

This morning as I stood getting ready for work a few thoughts popped into my mind. I smiled and said to the Lord, let me find a pen and paper so that I can write them down and share them later if you want me to.  I opened up the bathroom drawer and there was a pen {not too completely surprising if you saw my bathroom drawer…it is a catch all} but I was very happy.  Then I looked around me, I had nothing to write on.  A slip of paper on the dryer caught my eye.  Perfect!  I wrote down three things.

Once upon a time about 15 years ago I remember a woman in our church in Machias, Washington, who was a seasoned smoker, quit smoking.  She only had a few days of no smoking under her belt, but she exclaimed to my mother (who greats everyone in the foyer) that she had just been around a smoker and they smelled awful!  She asked my mom, “Did I stink like that too?!?”  I don’t remember what my mom answered, but it was probably very polite and encouraging, because that is just the way she is.  Sadly this woman, not more then a few days after that, picked up her old habit again and went back on the chain.

God is working hard in my heart.  He is working tirelessly on me.  I don’t want to squander his good work.  It is very irritating when the little boys get dirty right after I give them a bath.  It is most days inevitable.  I want to, as a child of God, try and keep myself clean.  I want to make my heavenly father proud.  Oh Lord, let me know when I am getting stinky...I want to be sensitive to your Spirit.

I am finishing up reading in 1^st Corinthians and a verse froze my eyeballs.  I read it again.  And again.  And I got out my highlighter and I underlined it and I highlighted it.  Corinthians is Paul writing to the church at Corinth.  They were zealous for signs of the Spirit and the supernatural occurrence.  A lot like us today we go in the ditch, instead of living life in balance.  Paul says to them in Chapter 14 verse 12: So with  yourselves, since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, strive to excel in building up the church.   He was correcting them for puffing up themselves and putting on a ‘holy roller’ showcase.  Paul tells them (14:33) God is not a God of confusion but of peace.

Here is the frosty that froze my eye balls and caught my attention 1^st Corinthians 15:1-2:

Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you- unless you believed in vain. {Spirit Checker!}

Ronda’s paraphrase…I (Paul) preached the gospel to you, you received it (in all appearance), you stand in it (so you say), and by it you are being saved (that would be the natural progression), if you hold fast to the word preached (what needs to be done)…unless you believed in vain (unless you are a big faker).

I think I am understanding it right.

This is not a game for show.  God sees your heart, you aren’t fooling God.  You may be fooling a lot of other people.  And you may even be fooling yourself.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. Galatians 6:7

And he said to them (Jesus), “You are those who justify yourselves before men, gut God knows your hearts.  For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God.” Luke 16:15

Ok, Gods word can bring a BIG paddle.  But I would rather be paddled by the word of God then puffed up with pride from the things of this world.  The king of this world {satan} wants you to be either numb to God and overly concerned with self, against God, or fast asleep.  Since satan himself was afflicted by pride and it was his downfall…it worked for him…it works for us.

God is God, we are man, his creation.  God loves the humble.  God loves the cheerful.  God loves those that love him, and love others.  I am but a vapor, a mist…so short is my time here on this earth, yet the manner in which I live my life, in truth or lie, will determine eternity.  And there is nothing hidden that won’t be brought to light. There is no time like the present to open up your heart to God and saying, ‘Renovate me.  Recreate me. Transfuse me. Use me. Whatever it takes, may you be glorified.’

Jesus, your name is precious.  I pray that you will let me never forget the stench of my prideful ways.  I pray that you will give me spirit checks if I am doing something I shouldn’t, saying something I shouldn’t, hearing something I shouldn’t, seeing something I shouldn’t.  I pray that you will give me foresight to RUN from evil.  I pray that you will expose evil to me for what it is so that I can flee from it..  If it is a song, if it is a TV show, if it is Facebook, if it is something that is taking me away from you, if it is an idol, make it detestable to me.  Thank you for convicting me daily.  Thank you for drawing me near.  I pray for anyone whose eyes read these words that it will minister to their hearts.  I pray that this weekend you will help me to be a good example of humility and love.  You are so gracious and I am so grateful. Amen.

I want to thank those of you who answered the question the other day about if you pray before you eat.  I want to especially thank Marie.  She wrote:

I thank Him for the food while I’m preparing it.

I thank Him for the lettuce as I chop it,

The animal that gave it’s life to sustain me,

The people I’m preparing it for,

The fuel to cook it,

The well water to wash it,

The pots and utensils to cook and serve it, spices, etc…

When I sit down to eat something that’s been prepared for me

I thank Him for that person and each item as I eat it.  It’s usually not out loud, unless requested,  but blossoms into praying without ceasing…

We have SO much to be thankful for!

Amen Marie, Amen!

Today was busy, but it was blessed.  I made a new friend and she blessed my day.  I love my job.

Here is the recipe for the tartlets and the quiche I posted yesterday.  Then it is off to the grocery store for me.  I love going grocery shopping…but tonight I am taking the little boys, which is usually a crazy deal.  So pray for me ok?  I really appreciate it!

Heat oven to 425 F.

Lightly grease 2 mini muffin tins (24 total tarts or quiche)

I used Hodgeson Mill whole Grain Insta-Bake Baking Mix.  I put 2 cup of mix in a bowl and mixed with about ½ cup almond milk.  You can use regular milk if you want.  1 tablespoon butter cut pea size mixed into dough. If your dough is too sticky add mix until the dough is only slightly sticky.  If your dough is too dry, add more milk; easy peasy!

Pinch off about a tablespoons worth of dough and use a floured rolling pin on a floured surface to roll out. Place each rolled dough into your muffin tins. Do this until all your tins are full.

If you are baking the tartlets you will want to bake shells for approximately 8-10 minutes.  They should be lightly browned and crunchy.  Cool on a baking rack and fill with preserves.  I used peach.  YUM!!!

If you are baking quiche you will need:

2 eggs

¼ cup heavy whipping cream

¼ cup milk

1 teaspoon steak seasoning

¼ cup cheese

Whisk all ingredients together and use a tablespoon to spoon mixture into UNCOOKED tartlet shells.  Bake at 425 for 10-12 minutes.  Edges should be brown, egg should puff up but not jiggle.

Serve warm.

xoxo

Ronda

Tea, Tartlets, and Truth

These little beauties were gone in 2.5 seconds.  I was VERY happy with how they turned out and so was Sam and the little boys who devoured the batch in record time.  I just might have to write a little email to the folks over at Hodgson Mill and tell them that I used their baking mix to make some awesomeness…I think they would appreciate that.

I love making little tartlets filled with yummy preserves and tasty flavor combinations.  But you know what I like even more?  Eating them!

Tartlets with custard and fresh fruit are amazing, chocolate with peanut butter, peanut butter and jelly, mini key lime tartlets.  Oooooohh the possibilities; I love tartlets!  They are perfect with tea and they are pretty to look at.  They are pretty fabulous.  These were Peach Preserves Tartlets.  Kael kept trying to sneak his little hand in to grab one while I was taking pictures.

See his little finger there.  Love that kid!

I also used the dough to make mini quiche.  These babies are a breakfast treat, let me tell you what!  So you get two sweet treats with one batch of dough.  I think that is a sa-weet deal.  They were really fun to eat side by side.  The savory in the quiche next to the sweet in the peach was perfect.

Last night Pastor Bryan (our youth pastor) rocked out a sermon in the main service.  God brought it, Bryan rocked it, and anyone listening was blessed by it.  There was some that did not listen.  There were some that were being distracting (a lot of teen volunteers at the church right now and a few of them were in need of a tap on the shoulder)…but if you had ears to hear, you heard.  I was bummed that not everyone heard.  But, like Pastor Bryan said last night, God’s mercy is new every morning.  Yes, yes it is.  And how sweet is that!

Bryan taught out of Romans chapter 12:1-2. BAM! This is one of the chapters that God has been ministering to me out of!  Very cool.  I like how Romans Chapter 12 closely parallels 1^st Corinthians Chapter 12, which is where I am studying right now.  God is awesome like that.

Grab your Bible and read Romans chapter 12 and then read 1^st Corinthians chapter 12.

As you get to the end of 1^st Corinthians chapter 12…you did just read it didn’t you?  Oh, I hope you did because this next part won’t have the same "jazz hands" moment if you didn’t…At the end of 1^st Corinthians chapter 12 Paul talks about how each has their own gift and then he says something that brought delight to my soul.  It is a journey that God has been bringing me through for several years.

Are all apostles?  Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?  Do all possess gifts of healing?  Do all speak with tongues?  Do all interpret?  But earnestly desire the higher gifts.

And I will show you a still more excellent way.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. {Zing, speaks straight to my heart and zaps me with conviction}

Love never ends.  As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.  When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.  For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.  So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1^st Corinthians 12: 29-31 and 13: 1-13

God’s word is so impressive.  Even if you are not a believer you can nod your head in agreement because this is GOOD stuff!  This scripture speaks to the truth that is written within the blueprints of our spirit.  We know when we read it that it is good!  Yet daily I fail.  Daily I fall short.  Daily I mess it all up.

I am so grateful for the truth that his mercy for me is new every morning.

This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.  Lamentations 3:21-26

Oh, doesn't that just warm your heart!  Mine is all nice and toasty.  I do have two toddlers squirming on my lap right now who smell like they need a bath.  I will post the tartlet and quiche recipes later when they are down for bed.  Gotta go be a mom.

Quick little prayer first?  Yep, I need it too.

Oh Father, my heart is set out for you.  It is yours and yours alone.  I won't share it with this world.  I won't dress it in darkness.  I will sing of your faithfulness.  Thank you so much for my friends and family who take time to read this.  I pray that you use this little blog to your glory.  I pray that you be with our family tonight as we go through the routines of getting little boys ready for bed.  That we will cherish these few quick hours we have with them.  I pray that you will help Sam and I to be good stewards over these two tots that you have blessed us with.  Help us to raise them in a way that glorifies you and makes you happy with us.  Let us love one another, let us love others, and let us not hold anyone down and set anyone aside.  Let us sing with those who sing, and dance with those who dance, and embrace those who just need a little hug to lift their spirits.  Help us be sensitive and more and more like your son with every passing second of every passing minute, of every passing hour, of every passing day.

We love you!

xoxo,

Ronda

And the truth shall set you free...

Ever since Monday when I shared about my issues with pride and food I have felt so much peace.  So much freedom!  Like a huge weight was just lifted off my shoulders.

God has shown me so much grace.  His love confounds me.

“And the truth shall set you free…” came to my mind as I realized that I had been justifying my idols, hiding my habits, and judging others while being prideful.  That is the ugly truth.  And she ain’t so pretty now!

I started studying in 1^st Corinthians yesterday and God’s word took on such significance to me as I read it; it was if I had never seen or heard these words before.  They came alive in my heart!  I hope that they come alive in your heart too.  Want to pray with me real quick and then we’ll dive right in?

God, I thank you for all that you are bringing me through.  I never want to be the same.  I want you to take my heart and tenderize it.  I want to be compassionate as you desire of me.  I want to be meek and humble, as you desire of me.  I want to be precious in your sight as your word describes those who seek you with humility and lowliness.  Thank you for examining my heart and showing me that I am not all that.  In this experience I have seen how my pride has passed itself off as judgment on others and I am so sorry.  Thank you for taking me and molding me.  I am the clay, you are a skilled potter.

But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise: God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong: God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.  And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 1^st Corinthians 1:27-31

And then Paul goes on to say…

Let no one deceive himself.  If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.  For the wisdom of this world is folly with God.  For it is written, “He catches the wise in their craftiness,” and again, “the Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.” 1^st Corinthians 3: 18-20

He sees us.  He knows our thoughts.  Nothing is hidden that won’t be exposed.  I was living life miserable.  Ok, well not miserable, but yet miserable!  I was a walking conundrum, as I was joyous in the Lord, but I had an idol (my pride and body image) in the driver’s seat while I rode shotgun.  Food and fitness were controlling so much of my daily routine (I talk about this past tense even though it was just a few days ago that it still had a grip on me).  My priorities were outta whack with God’s word.  Like I said Monday, I cared what people thought of me…A…LOT.

But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court.  In fact, I do not even judge myself.  For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted.  It is the Lord who judges me.  Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. 1^st Corinthians 4: 3-5

Do we live a lie?  Do we say one thing with our mouths and our actions condemn us?  Yet, we have hope.

Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

If you love God, love God.  He desires us to esteem others higher then ourselves, not build ourselves up.  He wants us broken down so that he can build us up…but not in us…in him.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.  Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Philippians 2:1-4

Robin and I shared a good laugh yesterday as she told me she was proud of me.  Way to feed the beast Robin!  I rise like dough; punch me down.

Xoxo~  Your friend,

Ronda, who was blinded by overexposure to her own awesomeness J (modified quote from Kung Fu Panda).

Mighty Titans

Wow, today was so busy.  I took a few breaks and really dug into the word of God and was just drinking it up.  I was in 1st Corinthians and over to Isaiah, and back to 1st Corinthians.  I can't wait to share with you the journey that the spirit of God is taking me on.  Tonight though, I do not have time.  I do not have time to do it justice tonight.  I am going to go practice worship with our praise team... I can't wait to go worship the Lord, it is such a relaxing thing to just take it all through music right to the foot of the throne.

Yesterday I made Sam and Colby a quick dinner that wouldn't be too hot since this place is a like a fiery furnace right now.  So since I am going light tonight in my post, here is a quick, easy, light, cool meal to beat the heat and the hunger.  Sam and Colby really enjoyed these mighty little titan tacos. They pack a punch, and they taste ooohhh so delightful.  I had one also; yup, I ate dinner with the family instead of around them.  It was really nice.

Sometimes I post little questions on here but no one answers.  I guess sometimes they are rhetorical.  But a question I am interested to hear your response is "Do you pray before you eat?"

I need to thank God more, for everything.

Here are Mighty Titan Tacos (I don't know why I named them that, but I like the way it sounds.)

Ingredients:

6 Flour Taco Size Tortilla

1 can of black beans

3/4 cup salsa (I love Walmart's Great Value Lime Salsa)

1 Roma tomato chopped

2 cups chopped romaine (about 6 leaves)

1 cup shredded cheddar

1 cooked chicken breast finely sliced

Sour cream as desired

In a small bowl mix black beans and salsa.  Place 1/4 cup bean mixture in a tortilla, top with about tablespoon tomato, 1/3 cup lettuce, 1/6 cup shredded cheddar, 1/6th of your chicken breast, and top with sour cream.  Pinch shut with clothes pin to hold it all together.

Easy!

Delicious!

Can't wait to share more with you about my journey.  Soon as I can put it down.

xoxo

Ronda

Ouch, my pride.

…Yesterday I was feeling perplexed, and slightly distressed.  I am getting to the root of some areas in my life that God has been working on within me.  I think if we are honest with ourselves, we all have issues.  I see hang ups in myself; snags here and there.  Yet these last few days I have seen them clearly for what they are and I am humbled.

This may get a little messy, but right now my heart feels a little messy.  So if you want roses and cinnamon rolls you might need to come back tomorrow, or in a few days.

I have a wonderful husband.  And yesterday while I considered myself considerably, he gave me space to do so.  I wish in this moment that hundreds of young men read my blog so they can have a good example of what an amazing husband is.

When Sam realized that I was in a funk he felt me out to see if it was a talking issue, a quiet issue, a space issue, a hormonal issue.  He was gentle and kind and ready to be any of the things that I might need him to be.  He was ready with a life line.  It is for this reason and many more that he is my best friend.

Our family is strong and healthy.  The Lord supplies all our needs.  We live in a nice place with air conditioning.  Our family loves us and there is no discord or strife.  We have good jobs that value us as employees.  We have good friends who would give us the shirts off their backs if we asked for them (well in this heat they would probably be more than willing).  We love the Lord and seek him daily.  I could start another list of all the awful things I know are going on in the world right now and how I am blessed to not have those to contend with.

So in the grand scheme of life and eternity my problem is basic.

I care what people think of me.

I realized very recently (yesterday) this is the root of the majority of my issues.  What people might think of me determines how I act, what I wear, what I eat, how I parent, and once upon a time determined how I worshiped.  Presently it determines a lot for me.

I will tell you the root of my problem is Pride.  I can tell you that I have cared more about what people think of me than what God thinks of me.  I can tell you that I have cared more about what people think, than what my husband thinks.  I can tell you that right now I am in the process of break down.

I want to be humble...but I don't want to be humbled.  I am not a very humble person.  In fact, I have offended more than a few people with my strong opinions.  Opinions that really end up being putdowns instead of buildups.

For the last year I have been zealous about the food I consume, but the food I consume has consumed me.  Body image has become such an intense focus of mine that I have been fighting with my flesh to keep it skinny and keep it fit.  Now don't get me wrong, I think it is good to be healthy.  But there is a ditch on either side of the road as in almost every opinion or area in life.  I have been living in an extreme.  I count calories, I exercise rigorously, I deprive myself of treats daily, sometimes I lose my willpower and binge only to feel like crap that the food defeated me.  'Just you wait till tomorrow food, I'll show you!  I am in control!'

Pathetic.

Yesterday I was standing looking at myself in the mirror putting on my makeup to get ready for church and I started to dig into the root of my past years struggle.  Why am I trying so hard to be thin?  Then the answer came to me.  I am afraid of what people will think when if I gain the weight back, that I let myself go.  Conceited...vain...prideful.

Here is the ugly truth.  I never eat what my family eats.  You can ask Sam or Colby.  I often eat something totally different and free of fat and in my mind guilt.  If I eat salad I eat it without dressing and if I use dressing I dip my fork in it so that I get only a little bit.  I get lots of vegetables without butter.  Robin pointed out in Washington that I could offend people because I was snobby with what I ate.  I wouldn't eat what she was cooking because she put lots of butter in it.  I was a butter snob.  I eat plain yogurt, I don't eat meat, I will make a meal for guests and not eat what I am serving.  How weird is that?

I have been a big food snob, and fellowship weirdo.  I realized the significance of this yesterday when we were going to meet some friends for lunch when Sam informed me that we were going to Taco Bell.  I felt ill.  "There is nothing there I can eat!" I exclaimed and pouted.  So while everyone ate Taco Bell I walked to Subway.  Food snob.  My pride is my embarrassment.


You are probably embarrassed for me right now too.

I care about what people think of how clean my house is, how fit my body is, how nice my face looks, how good the food I cook is.  I am getting in God's word, and I have been praying that God will search me and know me and know my thoughts and that if there is any wicked way in me (surely not, I am super cool of course and bring him oodles of joy) that he will lead me in HIS way everlasting.  He made short work of this prayer, and I hit the mother-load.

Here is my other epiphany that I feel God has let me see through all this.  Sam could care less if I am thin, he could care less if our house is immaculate, he could care less if we are eating gourmet home cooked meals, he could care less about if my makeup is perfect and I smell like flowers...he doesn't need a Stepford Wife.  Sam like God wants me.  He wants my attention.  He wants me to take a break for 5 minutes and sit on the couch next to him.  I am usually too busy fluttering about making sure that things are perfect when they can never be perfect, especially with two toddlers!  I have been focusing on things that will wilt and die.  What matters most?

Heavenly Father.  Thank you for answering my prayer.  This time with you has rocked my world, and I will never be the same.  I never want to be the same.  Thank you for taking a mirror out and showing me my prideful ways.  I don't know how to get to humble, so I am going to do baby steps, and I pray that you will continue to show me what your desire is for my life. I am so sorry for anyone who I may have been rude to through my pride. I am sorry for my actions, my attitude, my focus being fixed on my flesh.  Thank you for your words of inspiration that you brought to my memory.  They are so good.

Let me share with you real quick where God brought me so that I could see all this.  Lets first start with David's prayer in Psalms that I have been praying for myself.  And here is the prideful part, I didn't think God would find anything.  EEEEKKK, I feel really stupid as I type that.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!  Try me and know my thoughts!  And see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalms 139: 23-24

I prayed this prayer and God answered.

He answered in a peculiar way.  It started Friday with our new friends.  I won't go into great detail but I see my pride in appearances.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of air and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear--but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty o f a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1st Peter 3:1-4

OOoooo, Oooo, I want to be precious in God's sight! I want to be gentle and quiet in spirit.  I am loud and obnoxious.

For you husbands there is a scripture that follows this in 1st Peter that is a goodie.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1st Peter 3: 7

I am getting broken down.  Thank goodness.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51: 17

For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:  "I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit.  To revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite." Isaiah 57:15

And thus says the LORD: "Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool; what is the house that you would build for me, and what is the place of my rest?  All these things my hand has made, and so all these things came to be," declares the LORD.  "But this is the one whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word."

All I can say now is Yes; Yes and amen.

xoxo

ronda