What to do when you get Offended

Well friends I am going to be super transparent with you, I got schooled today; schooled by the Holy Spirit.  This is happening very often these days it seems.  I really don’t think that it is happening more often necessarily, I just think that when I asked God to search me and know my heart, to try me and know my thoughts…he listened, and now I am getting taught.

When you have a heart that sincerely wants to be close to God and to have his agenda and not your own he will start cleaning house, I think he is getting out his scrub brush for me.  Sorry God, it’s dirty, better glove up!

I think, nay, I know I did things out of order yesteday…twice.  I put my own agenda before his two times!  I knew it too, that is the bad part.  I knew better, but I created really awesome excuses for my bad behavior.  When you have a gripe or an offense the Bible tells us what to do with it.  So I wanted to share my lesson with you.

I don’t think that I am special in the regard that offenses can creep in.  Boo!!!! offenses.  I once bragged that I don’t get offended…ha!  That is right about the time when I started realizing how offensive some people truly are!  I was griping about everything.  I have mentioned before that Sam is my ‘griping board.’  Poor Sam.  I was being a real whiner a few months back and he said “I thought you don’t get offended.”  I instantly knew that he was right.  I even told him so.  I said, “wow, you are right!”  Normally I am not so receptive to being told that I am wrong, I should be, but sometimes that old stinker ‘PRIDE’ gets in the way.  But that day it was instantaneous realization that what he just said was 100% accurate, and I was in the wrong.  Go honey!

Pride bad; offense bad.  Ok, so I will say a few things, because I think there is a lesson here.  I think it is safe to say that I got offended {gasp}.  Yes, it is true.  Ok, so now what?  Well, I told two people about this.  I shrouded it with questions and made it seem more like a quandary, and really it could be those things too, but in the center of it was a gripe, an offense, an ugly little divisive splinter.  Ok, I might be going a little over board with the description of this, but really it comes down to I didn’t follow the example Jesus gave on what to do in this situation.  Therefore, I was wrong.

Thank you God for bringing me back to basics and training me.  Before I say what I learned I want to say that when I was a little kid we got spanked as a form of discipline.  Trust me, we needed it.  After our spanking my Dad (the’ spanker’, my Mom was the ‘crier’) would sit us on his lap and ask us, “now why did I spank you?”  And through our blubbering we would mutter, “Because you love us.”  “That’s right, I love you and I want you to be good,” He would say.  When H.S. gives you correction, listen up, it’s because he loves you.

If you get a gripe here is how you work it out:

1)      Examine your heart and your motives. Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!  And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.  Psalms 139:23-24

2)      Don’t be so sensitive that every little thing gets your feelers hurt.  Consider it an opportunity to ‘turn the other cheek’; an opportunity to love.  Now don’t get me wrong sometimes you gotta call out the bad behavior.  But as I am learning, there is a procedure, a time and a place. Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.  Proverbs 19:11

3)      Keep it to yourself!  Pray it, don’t spray it! Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.  Proverbs 21:23

4)      Don’t stop going to church (if that is where your gripe is).  I read a little blog today that spoke directly to the heart of my issue and she wrote:

“Remember that Divide and Conquer is the oldest play in the book, that wolves tend to separate a sheep from the flock to take it down.  Don’t give way to offense, and don’t let it be an excuse for your own spiritual anemia (and that of your family).” ~ The Esther Project

And the Bible says:

Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how to stir one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

5)      Pray for their heart and your heart, and if you spoke it out, ask for forgiveness.  You can’t put the cat back in the bag, {Why was the poor cat in a bag in the first place I wonder?}, but you can apologize for speaking instead of seeking.

6)      Read Matthew chapter 18.  God knows us.  God is smarter than us.  God is good and his advice is the best.

Even if you are right, if you gossip (eek, I hate that word), you are wrong.  Take it to God.

Heavenly Father, I am so sorry.  I may have valid points, but I had a poor approach.  Thank you for bringing this to me.  Thank you for showing me these things.  I got a plank in my eye!  Help me get it out, and let me follow your plan, because your plan is best.  Best, better, blessed.  Thank you for all your grace for me.  I need it soooooooo much!

Did you know that it is not difficult to make a cake from scratch?  True story.  I made my favorite cake and took it to the church Sunday night.  When I got there I saw that they had been blessed with a HUGE sheet cake, so I don’t know if my cake had to wait until yesterday to get eaten, but, Kael and I tested it and…it was probably the best cake ever.

The cake recipe I got a while back from King Arthur Flour.  I have never used King Arthur Flour, I have never even seen King Arthur Flour in a store, but I found their recipe online and it was dangerously delicious.  I asked Sam what type of frosting I should do.   I gave him four choices, peanut butter, chocolate, vanilla butter cream, or lemon.  He said lemon.  Lemon is one of my favorite flavors, so I knew this was going to be a tough job keeping myself from testing, tasting, and licking the bowl clean.  I was going to have to have to exercise a great deal of self control, or exercise a great deal.

I think I ended up somewhere in between.

Leaping Lemon Cake {because you will leap for joy when you eat it, maybe even click your heels}

2 cups sugar

3 ¼ cups flour

2 ½ teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

¾ cup unsalted butter, soft (if you use salted butter the world will not end)

1 ¼ cups milk

2 teaspoons vanilla

4 large eggs

Preheat oven to 350.  Prepare your choice of two 9” pans, 24 muffin cups lined, or one 9 x 13 pan.  Prepare by lightly greasing and flour dusting.  I also cut some parchment paper to fit in the bottom and then lightly grease that too.

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the sugar, flour, baking powder, and salt.

Add the butter and beat with an electric mixer at low speed, until the mixture looks sandy.

Combine the milk and vanilla and add, all at once.  Mix at low speed for 30 seconds, then increase the speed to medium and beat for 30 more seconds.

Scrape the bottom and sides of the mixing bowl with a spatula.

With the mixer running at low speed, add 1 egg.  Increase the speed to medium and beat for 30 seconds.  Repeat this procedure with the second egg; continue adding the eggs, scraping after each addition, until all four are added.

Transfer the batter to the pans of your choice.  Pans should be filled about half full.  Lined muffin tins, fill cups 2/3 full.

Bake for 40 minutes for a 9 x 13, 27 minutes for 9”, 24 minutes for cupcakes.  A toothpick inserted should come out clean.

Let cakes cool in pan and then transfer to a wire rack.  They are easiest to frost and decorate if they are chilled after cooling.  So once they are cool, wrap them up in tin foil (like a present), and put them in the freezer or refrigerator.  You can even make them several weeks ahead of time if you want.  Just wrap them good.

What I did while my cakes were baking was make my Lemon Curd filling and my Lemon Frosting.

Lemon Curd:

3 eggs

1 cup sugar

1 tablespoon lemon zest (finely grated lemon rind)

½ cup fresh squeezed lemon juice

¼ cup butter

Take two pots (or a double boiler if you have one, I don’t so I used two pots), In the bigger pot put about an inch of water, and set on low-medium heat.  With a wire whisk, whisk the eggs and sugar together in the second pot that is set into the first larger pot.  Stir in the lemon juice, butter, and lemon peel.  Cook over simmering water, stirring very often, for 10-15 minutes or until thickened.  Transfer to the fridge and let it cool.

 Lemon Frosting:

1 teaspoon lemon zest

3 tablespoons of butter

3 cups powdered sugar

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1 tablespoon water

Cream lemon zest and butter.  Add a cup of powdered sugar at a time, blending well after each addition.  Mixture will be very dry and pasty.

Combine lemon juice and water, and then add to your frosting while mixing on low speed.  This is super good.  Add more lemon zest or lemon juice if you think it needs it.  Don’t test it too much though, this is one of those that you will find yourself sitting on the couch watching your ‘stories’ putting back a whole bowl of this deliciousness if you aren’t careful.

When my cake was cool I put some frosting in my decorator bag and piped a dam around the edge. (You can watch lots of cake decorating videos on youtube to learn how to do this kind of thing).  Fill with your desired filling.  I made a two tier cake so my first layer is filled with Blackberry Jam, and my top tier is filled with lemon curd and topped with lemon curd.  So I put a dam on my first layer, spread my filling, topped with second layer and frosted that baby up.

This is a very versatile cake and let me tell you, boy is it a goodie!

Xoxo

Ronda