Sunday with Sam: Daddy knows best...probably

It is interesting to me how much my view of the world has changed since becoming a father.  My first born son’s name is Kael.  He just turned three years old and although he is very healthy and active, there are some areas that he has to work a little harder than an average three year old.  Kael doesn’t talk.  I suppose I can clarify that statement a bit more by telling you that Kael actually talks a lot, but you can’t understand him.  It’s not a speech impediment at all, it’s a different language.  Kael is communicating all the time but mostly it sounds like jibberish.  We are told that Kael is challenged with what is called Sensory Integration Disorder which mostly means that Kael doesn’t process external stimuli like you and I do, and therefore he doesn't react as intelligently as one could. 

For instance:  Kael doesn’t feel the shape of his mouth or the placement of his tongue when trying to say a new word and although Kael can try and repeat what you are saying, he is still difficult to understand.  “Kael, can you say Grandpa?”  Kael smiles and says “ooh ooh”.  “Kael, let’s try again..say Graaaannndpaaaa.”  And with more concentration in his face he says, “oooooh oooooh” again.  After a couple of tries we simply clap for him and say, “yeah Kael, good job!”

Although Sensory Integration Disorder is a daily consideration for Ronda and me as parents, we generally do not give Kael any extra leniency for his behavior.  We expect that with patience and consistent structured effort, Kael will be completely up to speed by the time he is in kindergarten or 1^st grade, and we have been told by Kael’s Special Education teachers that this is not only possible but probable.  Kael goes to school every day, even in the summer time.  He meets with speech therapists twice a week at school and is getting a jump start on his education while learning to interact with other children.  He has a very strict diet with very little deviation, and we try to maintain a very specific sleep schedule for him also even though he tends to wake up earlier than any parent would want to.  There are some tricks to those things but I will let Ronda get into more detail of some nifty tricks we have learned along the way.

It is important for me to tell you that the concern for Kael’s special needs rarely crosses my mind.  I never wonder what he would be like if he didn’t have these sensory issues.  I never do, because I couldn’t possibly hope for a more wonderful, beautiful, 1^st born son than my Kael Alexander.

Before I was a father it was only speculation how I might feel toward my child.  Unlike mothers, who begin to bond with their baby before he/she is born, I think for dads it comes from interaction.  Kael and I have a special understanding that makes it ok that we don’t get to talk to each other yet.  Of course I can talk to him, and he understands some things like “pick that up” or “Kael, come here!!!” but my favorite is “Give daddy a hug” and he will wrap himself around me and then it’s “How about a kiss?” and either he gives his ‘old man’ a good smacker, or will play this little game with me that always ends with me tickling him until he gives in and I can steal a kiss from my boy.

Kael is definitely a daddy’s boy, and that is just fine with me.  Sidebar:  I don’t love Caleb any less, I just decided to write about Kael today, and I don’t want any goofy comments about it later.

Now, the reason for all of this blubbering on and on about my son is this; I recently had a conversation with a teenager who couldn’t understand my point of view on a particular topic because he didn’t have a good relationship with his father.  I realized that it is so very sad for a young man who doesn’t have a good connection with his Dad because it is so much harder for him to grasp the idea of God’s never ending love.  I know more about God’s love for me by having two children (and hopefully more to come someday) than any book or sermon could ever possibly convey. It’s hard for me to even consider that Kael isn’t perfect, even though I know that he isn’t. (Not because of the sensory thing, but because no one is perfect except Christ).  And although I get frustrated with him sometimes, it would be utterly impossible for him to lose my love.  That is how God feels about us!  No, we aren’t perfect.  No, we don’t always please Him, and sometimes we do the opposite thing from what He told us to.  We may even do it on purpose.  God still loves you.  He loves you like I love my Son.  He sees you with ‘unconditional love glasses.’ It doesn’t always make sense, but I get it.

A couple more things I have realized about fathers that I took for granted (generally speaking):

1.       I make decisions based on what I believe is best for my children, not just to be strict.

2.       I could care less what others think about my parenting, but I care very much what others think about my children and how they reflect upon me.

3.       If I were ever in the circumstance to choose, I would happily give up my life for either of my children. {super serious I know, but very true}

4.       I’m not concerned with what my boys will be when they “grow up.” (sports, music, etc….) I am most concerned with them growing up to be happy.

Father’s Day is coming up, and I encourage everyone to put a little extra effort into honoring the father in their life this year.  He deserves it because it can be a lot of work sometimes.

Sam i Am

Sunday with Sam: At least you have a house…

Well, it is Sunday again, and this past week has been very busy.  And to think I thought my life was busy before!  As most of you already know, I work for a Toyota dealership in Joplin.  The tornado that hit two weeks ago did quite a bit of damage to our store.  Below is a picture of what used to be our lobby and sales floor, it is now an indoor/outdoor sunroom.

The company and its employees have been hustling to get it operational again.  The owner, Frank Fletcher, sent a memo within 48 hours of the storm to notify all the employees that there would be no layoffs and that everyone would be receiving their average paycheck.  It feels good to work for a company like that, and I am very grateful to even still have a job.  Since there have been no cars to sell, we (the employees) have been doing a lot of clutter management and furniture/office supply salvage.  Below is what is left of my office.

The General Manager of our store worked with our area Toyota reps to contact many of our region dealerships to ask them if they would share their inventory to help us get going again.  Most of the dealerships in our region (reasonable driving distance) agreed to give us at least a couple of vehicles if not 8 or 10.  So Duce, our GM, put a schedule together to get these cars back to our dealership.All of the damaged cars (pictured below) were inspected one by one by insurance adjusters and then parked in the back of the dealership stacked 3 deep.  The few vehicles (about 15 out of 200) that had little to no damage were then put out on the lot and cleaned.
 

Monday thru Thursday I spent driving a minivan full of salesmen from the dealership to various cities to pick up new cars.  I put over 1800 miles on a particular minivan in 4 days including one 800 mile round trip to la vista, Nebraska.  After each round trip there was lots of moving cars around the lot and reorganizing inventory, and by Wednesday of this past week cars began to sell again.  There is still a lot to do, and now there is a plan forming to level the entire dealership and rebuild brand new over the next six months.  It’s going to require a lot of flexibility to work there for awhile but, like I said before, I am grateful to have a job.  And lots of nice new cars to sell!

May was going so awesome for me too!  I was leading in sales for the month and on pace for a personal best.  I had a number of bonuses in the bag and working on a handful more that I most likely would have received had I ended the month with 15 or more cars out.  I already had 9.5 cars out by the 21^st and a couple more car deals in the works when the tornado hit.  I have to admit I was a little bummed by this since I had a decent shot at being top salesman in the store for the first time since moving out here.  I have been in second once or twice but never first.

On Saturday I’m pretty sure it reached 100 degrees outside and with all the chaos to deal with at work and the fact that I still hadn’t sold one car yet this month I was revisiting my mild disappointment from last month’s possibilities.  I mentioned to one of my bosses that it was a bit frustrating that after a lot of effort on my part I didn’t get to enjoy the bonuses associated with being first place in May.  There is a minimum of 10 cars sold to get a unit bonus and remember I had 9.5 when the tornado shut down the business for the rest of the month.  With no hesitation he said to me, “I don’t want to hear about your stupid bonus.  At least you have a house to live in!!”

That’s Doug for ya.  He used to be an Arizona State Trooper and then got into the car business in New Jersey.  He is extremely direct and brutally honest.  I’m sure he has some tact, but rarely has enough discretion to exercise any.  I was reminded of something my Drill Instructors would say when I was in boot camp for the Marine Corps.  They would say, “Believe me son, it can always get worse.”  I know, just like anyone, that there is truth to that statement.  But it is so easy to get caught up in our own world and our immediate issues that we elevate what is going on in our own life higher than anything and anyone else around us. 

Shortly after that moment, another Salesman came inside looking for me.  He said that there was a guy outside looking for someplace he could help with the relief effort and this salesperson remembered me telling him about our church’s efforts in the community.  When I went outside I met Matt Thomas.  Matt got out of the Navy just a little over three weeks ago.  When he heard about the tornado in Joplin he got in his car and drove all day from Wyoming with no idea what he would do, but he was determined to help.  I gave him directions to our church and called ahead to connect him to the relief effort coordinator and off he went.  That was Thursday.  Today, I saw Matt at church.  He, like many others, has been staying (sleeping) at the church for the last few days while working from sun up to sun down.  I am so grateful he is here.  I don’t know him well but I am thankful that guys like Matt still exist in the world.  He gave up the comfort of his home in Wyoming to come here and sleep on the floor in a church classroom, and shower in an outdoor make-shift rain room, to bring comfort and relief to people he has never met before.  This definitely puts a different perspective on things, doesn’t it? 

Consider this for a minute.  There is always someone worse off, which means there is always an example of something we can be thankful for.  Today, I’m thankful that I have a house.  I’m thankful that I am not in Doug’s shoes.  Doug is thankful that he still has a job, even though his house was demolished, he still has one car that works after the storm.  And there is someone out there who has no house, no job, no car, no insurance checks to buy a new one, and he is thankful that he is alive and fortunate enough to live in the USA where people come to the aid of a community that has been struck with disaster.

The next time life gives you lemons just tell yourself, “At least I have a house!”

Peace

Sam I Am

Sunday with Sam: Any given Sunday...

Isn't it amazing how life can change in an instant?  Home, job, family…life.  Last Sunday, Colby and I ate lunch at the church for a Spaghetti fundraiser put on to support an upcoming mission trip.  After lunch we took Kael and headed over to Wal-Mart to get a fan for Colby and some anti-freeze for his Jetta.  It was about 3pm when we left Wal-Mart.  It was sunny and a bit too warm to be comfortable, and I remember this because Colby and I were talking about how hot it was going to be in a month or two.

When we got home, I put Kael down for a nap and Colby and I sat with my guitar and worked on a song that I had been writing not realizing that the weather was starting to change.  In fact, neither of us noticed anything until I went to get Kael up from his nap when I looked out the window and saw that the sky had become very grey and it was starting to rain.  I mentioned this to Colby, that the weather sure had changed awfully fast.  By the time he got to the window it started to hail.

Of course, Colby grabbed his video camera and headed outside.  So I sat Kael down on the couch and followed him out the front door, that’s when I was met with the sound of tornado sirens. After a few quick moments of scanning the sky for a funnel cloud with no luck, we started to hear what sounded like thunder; continuous thunder that wouldn't end.  Many later described the sound as if it were an enormous freight train in your ear.  That's a pretty accurate description.  We shuffled inside and got into the closet under our stairs.  It’s the lowest most interior spot in our house, and I figured it would have to do.  If you watch the video that Ronda posted yesterday we were all very calm including Kael.  We knew we had experienced a tornado, since there was "stuff" hitting the house and we could hear it pass by.  The wind was strong when we went into the house and if I had to guess I'd say about 40 miles per hour with gusts up to 60.  Sounds like a half descent wind storm in Washington, but from what I could see and hear, the winds must have tripled for about 30 seconds or so.

Once the wind calmed down we decided we should try to get out of there.  I kind of felt like a sitting duck and Colby agreed.  So Colby, Kael, and I (with his video camera) got in the pathfinder and headed out.  We turned right from my driveway and we saw debris everywhere; in the street and in the yard.  Across the street from our house there was a boat about 20 feet up in a tree.  Within 2 blocks of our place there were trees down and roads blocked, shingles and siding ripped off of houses, and trees lying on top of roofs.  There seemed to be only one turn available to us at every 4 way intersection due to trees blocking and cars stopped in the middle of the road, and before we knew it we were coming up behind Wal-Mart where we had been maybe 3 hours before.  Wal-Mart is less than 2 miles from my house and with every block from my house to this retail Giant the destruction grew worse and worse.

I'd now like to take a moment to remind everyone that when we left our house, we had no idea how bad the damage would be, how far away the damage would extend, or in what direction we should drive to avoid the carnage.  We accidentally found ourselves driving the entire path of the tornado over the next couple hours.  Roads were blocked and police diverted us, power lines prohibited intersections.  We never set out to get the footage on camera that we got.  My 3 year old son was in the back of my vehicle the whole time and getting him somewhere safe and comfortable was my top priority.

I put my vehicle in 4 wheel drive over and over again.  We drove through yards, ditches, curbs, and even across a football field to keep from getting stuck in traffic with no way out.  I cannot begin to explain the chaos and confusion for everyone, including myself.  I think I kept a cool head, but we just kept driving with no real destination except out!  The tornado was so wide, almost a mile, and it seemed there was no end to the devastation.

We finally got far enough West to find a gas station that was still standing, and had power, which was good because the gas light had been on for nearly 30 minutes of driving 0 to 5 miles an hour.  It was a close call.  Of course by this time Kael was getting a bit tired of being in his carseat so I took him out for some fresh air while the pathfinder was filling up.  I guess Kael had some sour milk or something and before I knew it he was puking chocolate milk and spaghetti all over both of us.  ‘Seriously!  This is the worst possible timing,’ I thought to myself.  The people parked behind me sure got an eyeful while waiting for my spot in front of the gas pump, but they were so nice and even offered some napkins.  Sidebar:  I always try to keep a pack of wipes and some diapers stashed in my car just in case of emergency, and it paid off that day for sure.  Mobile changing station, oh yeah.

After cleaning up Kael, I threw away his clothes in the gas station trash can and with a 3 second pause, proceeded to throw my shirt away as well.  When Colby got back in the car and I explained what happened he literally gave me the shirt off his back.  Of course he was doubled up on t-shirts that day but I still appreciate the gesture.

After pulling out of the gas station I turned into the bank parking lot next door and realized, I had no plan, a naked toddler, and no idea if I would be able to get back home.   I began trying to make a few phone calls to arrange for someone to take Kael for a couple of hours or maybe more.  Colby and I were so overwhelmed by what we had seen and knew that we should be out searching houses/wood piles, or overturned cars for survivors.  I made arrangement to take Kael to Carthage to Bryan and Tina's house and heard from her that we could get there if we went the long way around Joplin.

On the way to the highway was the 7^th Street Wal-Mart (one on the Northeast side of Joplin), so we popped in for a quick $160 spending spree for steel toed boots, gloves, flashlights, diapers, wipes, 2 changes of clothes for Kael, a new shirt, new pair of jeans, new socks for me, and some bottled water.  I'm sure it sounds excessive now, but we expected to be out for hours and hours helping with the search and rescue, and I didn't know if I could get back home if I tried.

By the time I got to Tina's house, it was about 10pm.  We dropped off Kael, who was feeling better now and fast asleep, and headed back for Joplin to see how we could pitch in.  We must have drove through the rubble zone two or three times trying to hook up with volunteer groups and get our hands dirty, but unfortunately disorganization won.  We even went to the "Command Center" as announced by N.P.R. news radio and were turned away.  I met up with my boss at around midnight and he said they had been all over desperately looking for somewhere to lend a hand but were turned down over and over.  Just then, a police officer yelled at my boss and asked him if he knew a way to get across town. My boss, Duce Lett, who was on his 4-wheeler said that he did, the cop asked him to lead some guy in a pickup across town to drop off a body that he had in the back of his truck.  I realize that this may seem morbid, but this happened right in front of me like a normal conversation, almost like someone flagging you down to ask directions to the nearest grocery or something. 

Around 1am we headed back to Carthage to get Kael and if possible make our way home, and if not, our backup plan was to just hit the freeway and go visit Grandma in Kansas City.  We did in fact make it home and although the power was out and there was a potential for more storms, I was beat.  So I slept with my window open that way I could hear sirens if they came back on.

We later learned that the storm was headed straight for our house and after hitting Wal-Mart and Home Depot (many lives lost), it was still growing stronger as it came right for us.  Approximately 6 blocks from our house, it started to turn and ended up missing us by less than 700 yards.  If you drive 2 streets over from my house there is incredible damage.  If you drive 4 streets over, there is nothing there anymore.  Houses disappeared, vehicles launched hundreds of feet, trees pulled right out of the ground and carried for blocks.  The new car manager for my dealership hid with his wife and son and another couple in their bathroom and when it was over he opened the bathroom door only to realize that all the walls of his house were gone except the bathroom walls.  Praise God!

It doesn't take long to realize what is really important to you when something like this happens.  I left my house that day with the most important things intact, our lives.  My son Kael, and my friend Colby and I survived. I am so thankful for God's provision for me and my family.  I know that it was hard on Ronda to be in Washington while all of this was going on, but I'm glad for her sake and my sanity that she was.  This town will never be the same, and I can only hope that Joplin rebuilds better and stronger.  Oh and that we don't have another tornado like this ever again.

In closing, I want to let everyone know that the relief effort here has been astounding.  Thousands of people from Joplin and thousands more from nowhere near Joplin have been here every day since Sunday to lend a hand.  Not just Paramedics and extra Policemen, but citizens from all over the state are loading up trailers of water and food and bringing chainsaws and work boots just so they can help.

The reason I wrote this down is so that I could remember.  Now you should watch Colby’s video and experience this journey with us.  His story is detailed in video called "Joplin Tornado Chronicles", there are 5 parts.

Tornado Cronicles, Our Story

Someday my son will watch the videos and read this account and know that there is a God, and that He was watching out for us that day.   If you are looking, you will find God in everything, even in a Tornado.

Sam

Sunday with Sam: So let your light shine...

It's Sunday of course, a whole week has gone by since the debut of "Sunday with Sam".   This week has been busy busy (yep, I said it twice).  A week ago Colby rolled into town with his bread truck full of gear and whatever else one needs to move across the United States with.  And before he was able to catch his breath he was hurdled headlong into Joplin and the people he now refers to as "Joplers."

Colby started his new job with me at Fletcher's Toyota on Monday which entails a great deal of training. He is also having to acclimate himself to the humidity and constant use of air conditioning that is foreign to those from the Pacific Northwest.  This can be brutal.  When Ronda and I moved here, there was about a 3 week period where your head and sinuses revolt and wreak havoc .  It's not like your sick with a cold, but is just as miserable.  If you ever move to the hotter portion of the mid-west you will understand.

Here is Colby's bread truck in all its glory,  Lovingly dubbed "Baby Hercules."

If you can believe it, the majority of "stuff" that Colby brought with him is related to music production.  For instance,  there is enough lighting equipment to put on his own show at the Showbox or Nuemos (Seattle reference) or Memorial Hall (reference for you Jopler's).  All his lightning and sound gear is going up at the youth room at church; really cool, but this is no small task.

On Wednesday, I drove the bread truck to church and after service we recruited all the youth group boys to help unload the lighting and sound gear into our youth room.  On Friday, after Colby was done with training he headed to the church.  Colby and Justus (our 19 year old sound man in-training) got to the church around  5 or 6pm.  Later when I got off work at 8pm, I went over and helped them clear the stage,  run wires and hang more lights.  We didn't stop until 1am.  The next morning Colby met Jeremy (who is married to Lisa.  He is 6'10" and she can't be more than 5'4", just throwing that in for Paul and Amy's benefit) and they stayed at it all day till about 7pm Saturday night.  All this time just to get the lights hung and operating.   I asked Ronda to take some pictures for me.

Pretty cool huh?!  I'm looking forward to the reaction from the youth kids when we unveil the onslaught of color and flash.  I think it is important to say that lights, drums, or even instruments don't  make the difference to God when it is time to praise and worship, neither does activities or games that often happen at youth groups.  Our goal is to create an environment where kids want to invite their friends.  After all, it is the word of God that changes lives not blue and green lights.

We are very serious about teaching these kids the Bible and we understand that the best youth groups are not comprised of the best facilities and lights; but just like games and activities, there is nothing wrong with going big and having a great time doing it.

Check out our new offering bucket, or hand...

A quick little tip for you fathers out there since last week I introduced you to the changing station.  It is very important to recognize early on if you have a strong willed child on your hands.  Actually you will probably be well aware of it, because they will make it painfully obvious to you.  For me it's Kael, my oldest.  Coupled with some communication challenges that he is working hard to catch up on, he can be quite the handful.  Dads: our specialty is being strong and not giving in even when mommy wants to.  A soft hearted mother's nurturing spirit doesn't want to discipline more than once, if that (in my experience...eh hem, Ronda).

So what do you do if your son or daughter defies you over and over again?  You win!  You have to win.  Not because you are trying to break their spirit and you should never punish because you are mad, but the goal is to train them.  It takes consistent focused effort to shape the strong willed child and even one "give in" moment can set you back weeks.

My brother, Ceth, used the term "Want Monster" when his daughter Wren was around the age of 3.  He said toddlers are constantly in a state of need.  They want this, they need that, want, want, want.  Me, me, me!  He was right, if Kael is allowed to take toys from Caleb then he will do it again and again with no regard for Caleb.  Caleb on the other hand would share anything.  Except on occasion as a fun little game he plays he will sneak up behind  Kael and steal his trains while Kael runs after him yelling "no, no, no!"  Funny to watch him work, but also worthy of correction.

The Bible says "train up your child the way they should go." You are always training your child.  You are training them to be obedient, or you are training them that if they push hard enough you will give in.  No matter what you do, you are teaching and training.  So it very important to pay close attention to your response to "no, no's" and be relentlessly consistent.  Little eyes are watching.

Let me be clear about one last thing.  I'm not an expert in parenting and have no official qualifications, but if I can offer my advice on some level or another, you are more than welcome to ask...

Sam I am

Sunday with Sam: Dealing with the down n' dirty

Well here it is....The world premier of "Sunday with Sam".  By now you must know who I am, since I have gotten a nice honorable mention in Ronda's new found blogging hobby.  I am quite sure that her "blogging" will completely eclipse my feeble efforts to hold your attention, especially since the total amount of my witty humor weighs less than one hair on my little boy's head.

It's amazing to me how having children truly changes your life.  Not just your schedule or top choice of vehicle (I've come to grips with the fact that a mini- van is imminent in the not so distant future), but perceptions and interests get their fair share of memorable and habit forming battle scars.  For example;  I used to head to my vehicle at the end of the work day while calling Ronda to see what might be on the docket for the evening.  Things like going to the movies, eating out, live music, or hosting a lively social gathering were just a few of the activities that we enjoyed on an almost nightly basis.  Hmmmm......them were the days.  Now don't get me wrong, we are still just as busy if not more so, but life looks drastically different starting with the phone call while walking to the car to end my work day.

I thought, since I don't cook, that I would share with you a trick of the trade when it comes to being a dad.  Our friends Michael and Alicia are always in a tug of war over who is going to change "the dirty."  The banter that ensues when one of the little guys does his doody is quite comical and usually ends in Michael changing the diaper while proclaiming that the next one is definitely Alicia's.  I will tell you as a man this task never gets easier.  Our gag reflex I am convinced is more sensitive than our female counter parts.  I think God designed it this way...just sayin.

When raising babies and toddlers it is always a good idea to keep multiple makeshift changing stations around the house and equally important for me to stash extra diapers/wipes in choice places.  This is so crucial, of course, when it is " your turn" to change the midnight express who likes to wake up in the wee hours and crawl into bed with a full diaper.  Let me just tell you that at 2am there is no greater emergency than holding up the heels of a squirmy toddler while half asleep and your wife is blissfully counting zzzzz's.  *Sniff Sniff* Then you suddenly discover that what you thought was a wet diaper turns out to be chock-full of earth tones.  You see, Ronda will change a diaper wherever she is and at times she will leave the "tools of the trade" wherever she last changed the diaper, i.e. on the bathroom floor upstairs, in the backseat of the car, or in the laundry room.  I, on the other hand, like to prepare for such an event and get all the necessary ingredients ready before unveiling the very possible atom bomb that could be lurking in a toddler's diaper.   So when I couldn't find the diapers or wipes and she couldn't recall where she last changed them, this presented a problem.  It is also not all that uncommon for the little boys to stash them in a cabinet, behind their toys, etc...  So my motto is, much like the boy scouts, always be prepared, and soon you'll be saying "Thanks Sam, crisis averted."  Thus the creation of: The Diaper Station.  Here is the recipe. Enjoy.

Ingredients:

Diapers
Wipes
Powder
Diaper Rash Ointment
Plastic bags
Board Book (you want it to be one you can wipe down, just in case)



Directions:

1.  Ask yourself: "where do the dirty ones happen most often?" For us it is upstairs in our room (Kael will wake up and hunt us down with his dirty business), or downstairs in our living room where the boys have a play corner.

2.  At the dollar store you can find little baskets.  Really as far as us guys go it could be a cardboard box because we don't care about aesthetics, but women do, so in a basket they go.  Like I said, Ronda found these at the dollar store for a buck (dollar store=buck); probably made in China so don't eat them ok?

3.  If you have little babies stock with the following:  towel (in case they hose ya), diapers, powder, butt cream, and wipes.  Our boys are a little older now so our basket consists of: diapers, wipes, and a book to keep them distracted.  Another handy thing might be to keep a few grocery bags in the basket for the real stinkers.

3.  Put the baskets where the incidents most often take place and keep them stocked.  That way if you happen to start in on a diaper not realizing that it is a "blow out", you won't have to carry your toddler around by their ankle until you find the necessaries.

Peace out,

Sam

PS, here are the little ones that make it all worth while.