I'm a little tea cup~ By Lisa Beres

My name is Lisa Beres.  Here is my testimony that I have shared with teen girls using various cups as a visual aide~

I am trusting in Jesus here, to be totally transparent with people that I will most likely never meet~ Obedience means more to me than my comfort…deep breath, go go go….

To give you some background on my life growing up; I grew up in a world of violence, addiction, abuse in all forms, mentally, sexually, physically, emotionally, etc... My childhood, or lack of one, was complete chaos.  It was the LOVE OF GOD, and nothing else, that brought me to forgive my parents and repair relationships with them before they left this earth.

The first cup represents my life as a young teen ~a Styrofoam cup~ I allowed myself to be used and thrown away over and over with no thought or idea why.  All I wanted was to be loved and held, and it was something that would happen in a moment and I would find myself tossed in the trash.

photo used with permission by Dance 4 Oceans

The second cup represents my life during my teen- almost adult life ~a coffee mug~ I began a relationship with Jesus at the age of 21.  I was in trouble…not the kind of trouble where you call your girl friends and they all come over and eat popcorn and do facials, but real trouble, like call a bondsman kind of trouble.  So in jail I gave my life to Christ and went to church the following Sunday.  I “made Him my Savior” in front of everyone and the following Sunday I got Baptized.  Then I was on my own, (different church than the Abundant Life Christian Church that I attend now).  I knew I was changed on the inside, but the flesh spoke so LOUD, like the ~coffee mug~ I still allowed myself to be used. The only difference was I refused to be tossed away I became so co-dependent I did anything I could to keep a guy.  I got into drugs and all that comes with living that lifestyle. Yes, I had Jesus in my heart, and I longed to be close to him, but I chose to believe lies.





Like a coffee mug I knew I was used and so I would toss myself in the sink and get washed every once and awhile… But the Devil would show me the stain daily and tell me no matter how much I was washed I was still stained on the inside. This continued for a long time.  Relationship after relationship I was lied to, not only by guys, but by the father of lies…and he was real good at it.

On July 3, 2002, I got the call.  It was a call that changed my life forever.  My aunt called from Chicago to let me know that my Dad, my strong, full of life Daddy, just took his last breath.  I fell to the floor, rolled in a ball and cried my heart out.  I was high, but in that moment I was the most sober I had been in a long time. I was in one of those ~coffee mug~ relationships, where I was the only one working and paying the bills to keep our life looking “normal” on the outside.  I eventually told the guy I was living with that my Dad just died and I need to make arrangements so I could be at his funeral.  His response: “Well dang…Sorry about that…Me and my Dad are gonna go shoot some pool.”

In that moment, without a doubt, I recognized the small still voice inside me…He spoke to my heart and said, ‘You will heal from all of this all at the same time. Give it all to me, my yoke is easy.’ Keep in mind, the only ‘yoke’ I knew about was from eggs!  So with all sorts of confidence, my response to 'pool playin' guy’ was, “Have fun! When you come back your things will be packed for ya!” Then I needed my drugs. So I did the rest of what I had, and I packed all his things. That night my addiction was gone…supernaturally gone.  Amen!

   

The next day I called Jeremy (my husband now).  We had been friends, we kinda sorta dated I think. He was not like any other guy I ever had a relationship with.  He wasn’t crazy or strung out.  His life seemed so normal, and it freaked me out! He asked me to come to church, and I did, sometimes...(that must be where the Yoke scripture came from!)  I had some good soil, apparently enough for God to speak to my heart.

Jeremy showed up at my house the next day and told me God put it on his heart to take me to Chicago so I could be at my Dads funeral.  We haven’t been apart since.  He is patient and his love has allowed me to grow in Christ.  Without preaching pants on, Jeremy let me experience my new life and walk my walk without judgment or condemning me at all.

The final cup I want to share with you is ~a tea cup~.  It took many years to know and trust how my Father in Heaven sees me and fully know that he sees my heart.

After I put my trust and my heart into his caring hands He took the Styrofoam cup out of the trash, He cleaned up the coffee stained mug and drained the dirty dish water from my life and provided me with an Amazing husband who honors me with his heart and his mind.  Now I see my life as a perfect tea cup, a flawless one without a chip or imperfection. He desires to spend time with me, He loves me, He washes me by hand so gently, and He dries me completely and carefully places me on a shelf displayed and illuminated with His light shining on me for the world to see.

Lisa Beres

*Note from Ronda:

Lisa, thank you so much for sharing your heart in such a beautiful way.  I know it was not easy for you to put all this out there for everyone to see.  I am so blessed by you!  I love you to pieces and I am grateful to have you as my friend.  Love, Tiger. (wink, wink)